Plainly feeling more than a little emasculated after getting utterly defiled by Fulton County, Georgia District Attorney Fani Willis on Thursday morning, House Judiciary Committee wrestler Jim Jordan decided to recover some of his self-esteem and pretend he was still in charge by sending another one of his stupid letters to Justice Department special counsel Jack Smith, demanding he answer questions about a non-incident of “prosecutorial misconduct” everyone’s already forgotten about that surfaced in the lead-up to fat former President Trump’s first federal indictment for having stolen classified documents from the White House and hoarded them at his chintzy Floridian catering hall.

“The Committee on the Judiciary is continuing its oversight of the Biden Justice Department’s commitment to impartial justice and its handling of a special counsel investigation against President Biden’s chief opponent in the upcoming presidential election. Last year, Jay Bratt one of your senior prosecutors and top aides allegedly improperly pressured Stanley Woodward, a lawyer representing a defendant indicted by you, by implying that the Administration would look more favorably on Mr Woodward’s candidacy for a judgeship if Mr Woodward’s client cooperated with the Office of the Special Counsel.’ This attempt to inappropriately coerce Mr. Woodward raises serious concerns about the abusive tactics of the Office of the Special Counsel and the Department’s commitment to its mission to uphold the rule of law and ensure impartial justice,” Jordan wrote, like he was staring at himself in the mirror saying “you’re a bad motherfucker and nobody screws with you. That bitch Willis and her fucking ‘Bar Association member’ shit. Fuck her. Stupid bitch. You’ll show her.”