Categories
Uncategorized

Paxton trial update: Lawyer says media making him look too tan

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton’s defense lawyer Tony Buzbee on Thursday complained in Instagram post that “the media” was making him look too “tan” in video and still images of the ongoing trial in which his client faces expulsion from office over his eight year political crime spree.

“Here are two pics from two different reputable news organizations, taken on the same day, within minutes of the other. I am out in the sun a lot, but I don’t think my skin has ever been that ‘tan.’ Why would they doctor my pic? I’m sure you could take a guess. So you think the news isn’t bias? Think again,” wrote Buzbee, evoking the complaints of another certain Ken Paxton ally who’s also supposed to have more important things to do than constantly obsesses over his appearance.

Texas Tribune reporter Robert Downen notes that the more orange-y image on the left is actually from the official livestream of the Texas state Senate, which doesn’t exactly qualify as a “news organization” (nor is it “reputable,” especially if they fail to convict this piece of shit). We would also add that irrespective of how much a broadcast feed or camera might oversaturate an image, Tony Buzbee looks like a douchey 1990s-era movie villain with his stupid slicked-back hairstyle and angry scowl. He’s just asking for Bruce Willis or Jean-Claude Van Damme to kick him out of an upper-floor window of a burning skyscraper and say “Buzz off, Buzbee!” or something just before the credits roll.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Venezuelan forces lay siege to Argentinian embassy in Caracas

7 hours ago

Fox News reports wokeness ruining country music industry

17 hours ago

Philippines Vice President Sara Duterte says she’s ordered assassin to kill President Ferdinand Marcos immediately if/when she is killed

20 hours ago

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCI

1 day ago

Hungarian Nazi enthusiast named to National Security post

1 day ago

We’re gonna miss him when he’s gone

1 day ago

Hedge fund manager going to play with a lot more people’s money

1 day ago

Maine Republican declared winner of election for state seat by one vote after being arrested for choking wife in October

1 day ago

Canadian Clustertruck captain convicted

1 day ago

Top German conservative activist dies at 96

2 days ago

Guy who can’t get webcasts to work interested in buying MSNBC

2 days ago

Texas Supreme Court gets Ken Paxton out of a jam

2 days ago

Matt Gaetz says he won’t be back in Congress on January 3rd

2 days ago

Judge Merchan indefinitely postpones Trump sentencing

2 days ago

Mike Rogers not under consideration for FBI chief: Trump minion

2 days ago

MAGA Land urges children to sacrifice new toys for America First

2 days ago

Tucker says he told Johnson to “check with Putin” on Ukraine aid

2 days ago

Team Orange “blindsided” by Hegseth rape accusation

2 days ago

Convicted California pedophile faces 740 years to life in prison

2 days ago

New York man actually laser eye-memes fucking Kevin McCarthy

3 days ago

“He was doing very well but, at the same time, did not want to be a distraction for the Administration”: Trump on Gaetz withdrawal

3 days ago

Matt Gaetz pulls out before things got even more messy

3 days ago

Republicans don’t actually know how mass deportation will work

3 days ago

MAGA propagandists put on nominee defense duty

3 days ago

Barrasso comes out in support of Pete Hegseth

3 days ago

Allegation: Hegseth drugged, sexually assaulted woman

3 days ago

ICC issues arrest warrant for Netanyahu

3 days ago

Bobby Jr agreed that Trump fans are “Nazis” back in 2016

3 days ago

Florida man arrested for planning to bomb Wall Street

3 days ago

Out of control inflation: banana sells for $5 million

3 days ago

House Republicans lining up to sink Gaetz nomination

3 days ago

Not The Onion: Alex Jones sues Sandy Hook families, The Onion

3 days ago

Capitol rioter convicted of plotting to murder FBI agents

3 days ago

House Ethics fails to agree to release Gaetz investigation report

4 days ago

Elon Musk got a lot done today

4 days ago

Orange Pharaoh rages over pushback to his shitty picks

4 days ago

Laken Riley’s killer convicted

4 days ago

Bald asshole former acting AG gets NATO ambassador nod

4 days ago

Grindr user “SenatorPartySlut1776” complies with blackmail terms

4 days ago

Freeman and Moss ask judge to hold Rudy in contempt

4 days ago

Jaydee stuck trying to sell Senate GOP on Gaetz

4 days ago

Surprise! Bobby Jr bought into “plandemic” shit in 2020

4 days ago

Walmart CFO says they’re getting ready to jack up prices

4 days ago

US Embassy in Kyiv shuts down over anticipated Russian attack

4 days ago

AG-designate Gaetz helped pay $10K in tuition for two underprivileged sex workers, Committee investigation found

4 days ago

Wrestling executive to head US Education Department

4 days ago

Guy accused of battery who cheated on wife once wrote of one’s “moral responsibility” while at Ivy League. (No, the other guy)

4 days ago

SpaceX landing aborted with Donald watching

4 days ago

Senate approves RFK takeover

4 days ago

Mehmet Oz to run Medicare and Medicaid for Trump Reich

5 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x