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Stephen A Smith caught masturbating in front of audience

Divisive ESPN personality Stephen A Smith was caught masturbating in front of a live audience on Monday, Barrett Media reports on the disgusting act of self-pleasure by a colossal egomaniac also seen by untold millions of viewers of footage of the NAB Conference in Las Vegas.

“I have no desire to” run for for president of the United States in 2028, said Smith, who was not physically exposing his penis and stroking it vigorously until he ejaculated so much as basically doing the same thing verbally. “I’m living a pretty good life right now. Life’s been good. The last thing that I would want to do is involve myself in politics. I’ve always perceived politicians as being professional beggars. I don’t say that derogatorily or anything like that. It’s just the reality. You’ve always got your hand out for something. People always need favors in return. I’m not that guy. So I could never see myself as a politician,” Smith said to McVay Media founder Mike McVay, who supplied the symbolic hand lotion and Kleenex in the form of a question about Smith’s ambitions.

“Over the last few weeks, I’ve had no choice but to get more serious about it,” Smith said as he symbolically wrapped a belt around his neck. “I’ve been approached by people on Capitol Hill. I’ve been approached by people who are elected officials in office, whether it’s governors or mayors or what have you. People have legitimately, seriously, asked me about it. I have no desire to be a politician, but I’ve decided that I’m no longer going to close that door. I’m gonna keep my options open. I’m going to entertain the possibility. If it comes in late 2026, 2027, where I look at this country and think it’s an absolute mess and there’s legitimate reason to believe… that I indeed have a legitimate shot to win the presidency of the United States. I am not going to rule it out.”

Smith’s insufferably disingenuous bullshit about bearing a responsibility he doesn’t want is EXACTLY what America deserves in 2028 after returning Donald Trump to the White House. Mediaite couldn’t have written the story of this coming shitshow better and it’s a sign that he hasn’t Venmoed them the $400 per article payola fee yet that they haven’t printed a story about these comments already.

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