Romney won't run again in 2024

Utah Senator Mitt Romney told the Washington Post on Wednesday he will not run for reelection in 2024. The announcement brings to a close to the career of the former Massachusetts governor, 2012 Republican presidential nominee, and as far as we know is the only living American elected to statewide office in two different states, and beginning a period of joyous celebration for the fanboys who hate him for voting to convict Trump in both impeachment trials.

UPDATE 9/13/2023 2:15 PM EDT: Surprise! Fat former President Trump heralded the “FANTASTIC NEWS FOR AMERICA,THE GREAT STATE OF UTAH, & FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY” in an all-caps scream on Truth Social. “A BIG PRIMARY FIGHT AGAINST HIM WAS IN THE OFFING, BUT NOW THAT WILL NOT BE NECESSARY. CONGRATS TO ALL,” wrote the ebullient orange toddler.

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