Categories
Uncategorized

Fanboys think missing F-35 made it to Cuba

God knows where these morons got this idea but here we are: A number of MAGA Twitter users are pushing the theory that the Marine Corps’ missing F-35 fighter jet somehow landed “safely” in Cuba, sans pilot or cockpit, because something something China has a base there something.

“I wouldn’t worry about Lauren Boebert feeling up a dude in a theater, I would worry how an unmanned American F-35 landed safely in Havana Cuba…” writes Blue Check guy “Gunther Eagleman™” while “Real Mac Report” wrote “🚨Breaking: An unidentified F-35 fighter jet landed in Havana. The Cuban government has not released any information yet,” and you get the picture.

The first Twitter match for anything with “F-35” and “Cuba” in it from the last 24 hours relevant to the current missing fighter jet comes from just one rando with 14 followers replying “Auto pilot compromised. F-35 turned south landed in….Chinese airbase in Cuba ?” to a tweet on the story.

So some idiot just idly speculating turns into a thing in MAGA world, a thing that, despite our admittedly very limited knowledge of military aviation and technology, is exceptionally fucking impressively stupid even by this crowd’s standards. Imagining if somehow a jet flying over South Carolina was somehow “hacked,” with the ChiComs immediately ejecting the pilot after remotely seizing control is like – alright maybe that’s a cyber warfare warning shot or whatever, fine. But to fly the goddamned jet all the way to Cuba and land it safely is just really not possible to anyone and everyone with the most passing familiarity with fluid dynamics. You can’t keep an aircraft stable without the cockpit and more importantly the hatch to stop the air friction from the forward motion as well as the lateral currents and – fuck these tinfoil/horse paste people are just so utterly hopeless.

In all seriousness, it’s actually more plausible that an alien spacecraft tractor beamed the wayward F-35 into its undercarriage and took it home to study primitive Earth technology. But since that doesn’t fit with the “Biden so weak on ChiComs” narrative, we get this bullshit instead.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Artemis II crew splashes down safely

10 hours ago

Eric Swalwell needs to resign from Congress right fucking now

10 hours ago

Orange Shitbag pledges to help Hungarians before Americans

13 hours ago

BREAKING: Trump regime admits they lied

15 hours ago

Raskin asks White House doc to conduct thorough mental eval

15 hours ago

Fox News reports lib terrorist targeted pro-Trump patriot

16 hours ago

Kamala Harris says she’s “thinking about” a 2028 run

17 hours ago

Trump continues to whine about the consequences of his fuckup

17 hours ago

Houston gentlemen’s club patron felled in dispute with rogues

18 hours ago

Pete Buttigieg nearly causes MAGA CNBC host to stroke out

19 hours ago

President promotes evil corporation run by eccentric supervillains

19 hours ago

Consumer sentiment index sinks to lowest level ever

19 hours ago

New York Times called out for its terrible polling numbers

20 hours ago

Russian defense official gets 19 years for unsanctioned graft

21 hours ago

MAGAflation skyrockets to 3.3 percent in March

21 hours ago

Top Melania aide says Third Lady focused media on her Epstein ties because media isn’t focused on her performative “achievements”

22 hours ago

Massie leads generic MAGA douche primary challenger: poll

23 hours ago

Texas Lt Gov Dannie Goeb worried state House could flip to Dems

23 hours ago

Fox Business reports bribery refusal investigation underway

24 hours ago

Orange Karen complains about quality of Iranian oil transit service

1 day ago

Donald denies knowing what prompted Melania’s Epstein denial

2 days ago

You can find avant garde art in anything, really

2 days ago

BREAKING: New York City schools still closed for Spring break

2 days ago

When Marjorie Taylor Greene says you’re a mentally ill sociopath…

2 days ago

White House accepts $37 million in proudly non-American-made steel for ballroom to host majestic, blue-collar-excluding galas

2 days ago

This is why Karoline earns your big bucks

2 days ago

Netanyahu’s corruption trial resumes

2 days ago

California Supreme Court orders MAGA sheriff to halt ballot probe

2 days ago

Frau Ingraham could’ve just called the Times story fake news

2 days ago

“REMEMBER GREENLAND” now a heroic rallying cry for patriots

2 days ago

FDA recalls male enhancement chocolates

3 days ago

Soldier’s wife released as ICE melts under public heat once again

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Karoline Kringefest

3 days ago

Strait of Hormuz as open as the Kennedy Center

3 days ago

Fat toddler complains reports are wrong, doesn’t correct them

3 days ago

“Middle class white kids” most discriminated against in schools: JD

3 days ago

Regime declares Bondi doesn’t have to be deposed

3 days ago

Orange Mark got conned into war by two-bit hustler “Bibi”: NYT

3 days ago

Still sucks to be Florida MAGA Quebecois-American motelier

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Sad Pete

3 days ago

Dem flips Wisconsin Supreme Court seat

3 days ago

TACOpocalypse now

3 days ago

JP Morgan predicts $5/gallon gas this month

4 days ago

Regime pays Deutsche Bank $145 million for $92 million property

4 days ago

Florida woman accidentally rescues wanted murderer from waves

4 days ago

When RonAnon is the Congressional GOP’s moral center…

4 days ago

Vietnam elects communist party swamp creature to presidency

4 days ago

Former reality show host still knows how to hype big new episode

4 days ago

Jaydee crushes it at Orban rally in key EU swing state Hungary

4 days ago

Process (war) crimes

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x