Categories
Uncategorized

Fanboys think missing F-35 made it to Cuba

God knows where these morons got this idea but here we are: A number of MAGA Twitter users are pushing the theory that the Marine Corps’ missing F-35 fighter jet somehow landed “safely” in Cuba, sans pilot or cockpit, because something something China has a base there something.

“I wouldn’t worry about Lauren Boebert feeling up a dude in a theater, I would worry how an unmanned American F-35 landed safely in Havana Cuba…” writes Blue Check guy “Gunther Eagleman™” while “Real Mac Report” wrote “🚨Breaking: An unidentified F-35 fighter jet landed in Havana. The Cuban government has not released any information yet,” and you get the picture.

The first Twitter match for anything with “F-35” and “Cuba” in it from the last 24 hours relevant to the current missing fighter jet comes from just one rando with 14 followers replying “Auto pilot compromised. F-35 turned south landed in….Chinese airbase in Cuba ?” to a tweet on the story.

So some idiot just idly speculating turns into a thing in MAGA world, a thing that, despite our admittedly very limited knowledge of military aviation and technology, is exceptionally fucking impressively stupid even by this crowd’s standards. Imagining if somehow a jet flying over South Carolina was somehow “hacked,” with the ChiComs immediately ejecting the pilot after remotely seizing control is like – alright maybe that’s a cyber warfare warning shot or whatever, fine. But to fly the goddamned jet all the way to Cuba and land it safely is just really not possible to anyone and everyone with the most passing familiarity with fluid dynamics. You can’t keep an aircraft stable without the cockpit and more importantly the hatch to stop the air friction from the forward motion as well as the lateral currents and – fuck these tinfoil/horse paste people are just so utterly hopeless.

In all seriousness, it’s actually more plausible that an alien spacecraft tractor beamed the wayward F-35 into its undercarriage and took it home to study primitive Earth technology. But since that doesn’t fit with the “Biden so weak on ChiComs” narrative, we get this bullshit instead.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Trump kayfabes a world where he obeys court orders

15 minutes ago

Surreptitious shot, consequential chaser

1 hour ago

New Doritos Protein to boost Doritos eaters’ athletic edge

1 hour ago

Orange God Emperor hears out “Stop the Steal” assclowns’ plan for him to declare “national election emergency” ahead of midterms

2 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump sends JD to lie to voters about US economy

2 hours ago

Los Supremos again postpone Carroll v Trump conference

3 hours ago

“Prosthetic butthole” dominating entertainment news coverage

3 hours ago

Biden didn’t release those missing FBI interviews either, libs

4 hours ago

State of the Union ratings lowest ever for Trump

4 hours ago

DINGUS RESIGNS: Thran to be sworn in as acting mayor

5 hours ago

House Republicans can’t stand being associated with sick sex pest

5 hours ago

WEF chairman quits over Epstein ties

6 hours ago

Cubans claim Floridians were trying some mini-Bay of Pigs

7 hours ago

Hardcore anti-Trump Villager’s MAGA kids don’t really talk to him

14 hours ago

Oz and Jaydee announce Medicaid punishment for Minnesotans

21 hours ago

Six percent of Trump 2024 voters now disclaim it: pollster

21 hours ago

Venezuela attorney general quits

21 hours ago

Misogyny okay because a trans swimmer got a bigger trophy

22 hours ago

Drunk Republican voter rear-ends cop car at 3:06 pm on a Tuesday

23 hours ago

Cuban troops neutralize four suspected Floridian terrorists

1 day ago

“Johnny MAGA” doxxed as White House comms office staffer

1 day ago

New York Times now covering the missing Trump-Epstein docs

1 day ago

Fat, insecure man-baby lets brown Muslim women get to him

1 day ago

Larry Summers resigns from made-up Harvard job

1 day ago

Theoretical threat of summary executions in 2028 effective at quashing impeachment bid against Philippines VP Sara Duterte

1 day ago

Jaydee blamemaxxes Biden when poll-mogged on Fox News

1 day ago

DSCC spending early in Alaska

1 day ago

Regime weighs ordering banks to collect citizenship info

1 day ago

Steve Scalise’s math the least stupid part of his pitch to voters

1 day ago

Mandelson, Andrew facing life in prison

1 day ago

Seattle vagrant’s daring escapes from cops undone by low stamina

1 day ago

CNN snap poll ratings worse than Trump’s 2018 State of the Union

1 day ago

Fox and Friends platforms Spanberger’s rebuttal for some reason

1 day ago

Florida Everglades wildfire grows to 15,000 acres

1 day ago

Al Green removed for holding up “Black People Aren’t Apes” sign

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: The People’s State of The Union

2 days ago

Blackburn delivers for Tennesseeans

2 days ago

Tony Dorkoupil already doomed at CBS: report

2 days ago

McCarthy says Gonzales should resign

2 days ago

Maybe K$H’s spokesman should just not respond to everything

2 days ago

FBI agents needed plane when K$H had it in Florida

2 days ago

Coyote fails to catch not particularly fast toddler

2 days ago

Jim Jordan wrestles “But Garland” into answer to Epstein question

2 days ago

Claude AI reluctant obey Hegseth’s commands to kill enemies

2 days ago

Utah judge spikes Robinson’s bid to remove prosecutor

2 days ago

Tom Emmer’s right when you look at it very narrowly like he says to

2 days ago

Idaho cops arrest lib who plowed stolen ambulance into ICE office

2 days ago

Congolese drone finally shuts up M23 rebel group’s spokesman

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Top GOP leaders say stupid shit with a straight face

2 days ago

State-sanctioned death squads conducting brutal summary executions of filthy nature-dwellers in restive southern Indiana

2 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x