The non-union Clinton Township, Michigan auto parts company hosting disgraced former President Trump’s Wednesday speech is hyping the event with some pretty dystopian shit, writing in a Tuesday Facebook post that they “are excited to announce that Drake Enterprises, Inc will be hosting former President Donald Trump tomorrow. In 2019, we rolled out an employee engagement program centered on patriotism and support for America. This program has sought to encourage our work force to embody the American Dream, whatever that may be for each employee.”

“With that said, we value this opportunity and are honored to provide a platform to one of America’s former leaders,” they continued and LOL at the explicit uses of “former” in the post. “Politics aside, this is a tremendous opportunity to expand name recognition for Drake Enterprises and help us to continue living our American Dream of growing our company and expanding our product lines. We want to recognize our ✨ staff ✨as they are a huge reason we were asked to host this event. We hope all of our followers are Living their American Dream!!” followed by an American flag meme.

So to recap, eight days ago the New York Times reported with the literal headline: “Trump to Woo Striking Union Members in Detroit, Skipping 2nd GOP Debate,” which ended up being accurate when you remove the words “Striking Union Members” and “Detroit” because Clinton Township is about 18 miles north and the workers in the audience will not be on strike nor will they be union members.

The whole situation has a very “Four Seasons” vibe to it, like the Orange Warlord demanded that his minions immediately find a “Blue Collar” setting for Trump to capitalize on the strike politically, and, without working the phones first to find a union shop or meeting hall or some place germane to the strike they went and told the Times’s Shane Goldmacher and Maggie Haberman that he was definitely going to “Woo Striking Union Members in Detroit.” Then came the “Oh fuck” moment when they realized they couldn’t actually get Trump in front of any real, genuine UAW members.

You can see it in the semi-careful wording in the fat bastard’s Monday morning Truth Social post melting down over Biden announcing he was literally joining the picket line in Detroit on Tuesday:

“Crooked Joe Biden, who is killing the United Autoworkers with his WEAK stance on China and his ridiculous insistence on All Electric Cars, every one of which will be made in China, saw that I was going to Michigan this week (Wednesday!), so the Fascists in the White House just announced he would go there tomorrow. That was the only way to get him out of the basement and off his lazy a..! He has been a complete disaster for all Autoworkers in the US, so much do that with his warped plan & mind, their won’t be any Autoworkers left in 3 years. He is destroying our Country, and likewise, destroying the United Autoworkers. When he slowly walks to pretend he is a ‘picket,’ REMEMBER, HE WANTS TO TAKE YOUR JOBS AWAY AND GIVE THEM TO CHINA AND OTHER FOREIGN COUNTRIES. TURN YOUR BACK ON THIS CORRUPT AND HIGHLY INCOMPETENT PRESIDENT, BY FAR THE WORST IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES, AND SHOUT OUT TO YOUR UNION LEADERSHIP TO ENDORSE DONALD J TRUMP. I WILL KEEP YOUR JOBS AND MAKE YOU RICH!!!” Trump wrote.

There’s too much in there to mock, especially the “I WILL KEEP YOUR JOBS AND MAKE YOU RICH!!!” part. What a fat fucking liar. Anyway it’s the “saw that I was going to Michigan this week” where he omits the original premise hyped to the New York Times. The bottom line is that Trump is simply too chickenshit to put himself in that situation. Or, maybe more accurately, the head of his Secret Service detail told him “Sir, I cannot under any circumstances authorize you to be in a situation where thousands of angry auto workers are holding signs and demanding fair wages. There would be no way to extricate you safely if they decide you aren’t welcome there, which you won’t be,” while the Biden Secret Service team said “Yeah, he’s in good company there. Let’s do it.”

Tuesday, I’ll go to Michigan to join the picket line and stand in solidarity with the men and women of UAW as they fight for a fair share of the value they helped create.

It’s time for a win-win agreement that keeps American auto manufacturing thriving with well-paid UAW jobs.

— President Biden (@POTUS) September 22, 2023

As for Drake Enterprises, we couldn’t find any definitive preexisting links to Trump or the GOP in the ownership’s public donation records history or Facebook profiles (actually nonexistent for the members of the Stemple family associated with the company – though there is one prolific Stemple living nearby we couldn’t find a connection to Drake itself). There was nothing on their Facebook page until this morning’s post announcing the speech is part of “an employee engagement program centered on patriotism and support for America,” equal parts fascistic and just goddamned weird.