A Hazelwood, Missouri Cabela’s location gave away gift cards with values ranging from $5 to $500 to the first 250 customers lined up outside before the hunting and outdoor retail chain’s Black Friday blowout sale kicked off 5:00 AM, KDSK reports on a giveaway whose scope feels like it would’ve been much bigger if Trump was still in office during the 2023 Christmas shopping season.

Now maybe it is comparable to Cabela’s 2019 Black Friday gift card giveaway promotion. We could look into that but it would probably require a lot of time and effort poring through old Facebook posts and archived pages from their website. More importantly, such research could wind up having the opposite effect of the vibe we’re trying to present here and that this Black Friday’s Cabela’s door prize is unambiguously more generous in 2023. Then again, we could just skip all that and simply double the proposition: It feels like the first 500 customers would have gotten free gift cards ranging in value from $10 to $1,000 if Trump had won a second term in the 2020 election.

When in doubt – combined with journalistic sloth – go with the completely unfalsifiable point of comparison. Who wants to be bored with details when all we’re trying to do is tell Red State hunting and fishing enthusiasts with disposable income they’re getting screwed on Black Friday deals because Crooked Joe is selling our country out to China? It’s not that complicated, especially when you don’t want it to be. Watch us do it: KDSK’s report also mentions that Cabela’s website is selling a two-pack of Moultrie Edge cell hunting cameras for $99, representing a savings of $80 off the normal retail price of $179.99, which we’re just going to go ahead and say would’ve been $59.99 on Black Friday 2023 if the 2020 election hadn’t been rigged and stolen. Deal with it libtards.

National Zero will resume our regular coverage after this in-depth report on the vibes generated by Cabela’s Black Friday gift card giveaway. We hope our MAGA readers felt like it was accurate.