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Suckers, dupes and patsies: New Tucker Carlson platform just $72 annually for access to exclusive racist conspiracy theories

Want to learn more about the Great Replacement Theory but you find the content at Prager U. just not self-victimizing enough?  Well, you’re in luck:  former Fox misogynist Tucker Carlson announced that he’s soon to start his own revamped platform at his website where–for just $72 annually–you’ll be able to access quality content like he created for the now defunct Fox Now streaming service, like his “Let them eat bugs” documentary or his expose of tyranny in Canada.  And of course, there are the Kid Rock interviews!

“Hey, it’s Tucker Carlson! We’ve been out of work for seven or eight months now. Hard to know, time flies when you’re unemployed,” Carlson says in his “aw shucks” Klansman-Next-Door kinda way in a low-budget promotional clip posted online. “But actually, we’ve been working in secret and producing an awful lot of material for months now — interviews, et cetera — and all of it has now found its way to tuckercarlson.com. We’re launching a brand-new thing very soon.”

In addition to the spectacular programming, Variety reports “founding members” will have access to special, exclusive merchandise, like a $25 “official 2023 Tucker Carlson Christmas ornament” which the site claims is “handmade by the talented artists of Wendell August Forge, a one-hundred-year-old American company.”  What’s it look like?  No one knows.  Two weeks before the holiday, the design hasn’t been released.

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