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Mike Johnson obeys his Orange Master’s pettiest commands

Jesus dork Speaker of the House Mike Johnson of course had a terrible night on Tuesday but isn’t in danger of losing his job quite yet (“But if he has any more days like yesterday, that idea might change fast,” Politico Playbook writes) probably thanks to staying on top of more menial tasks like firing his PAC’s fundraising firm, Axiom. There’s no mystery why he fired them, as last month the Holy Orange God Emperor issued an edict declaring that Republicans “who want to stay on President Trump’s good side should not hire Axiom. They are enemy Number 1.”

The edict, issued in response to Axiom founder Jeff Roe supporting heels-wearing Governor Ron DeSantis’s failed presidential effort and running the “Never Back Down” PAC, is non-negotiable.

Or maybe it’s a little negotiable as Johnson’s main guy at Axiom, Jason Herbert, is just going to continue billing Johnson’s PAC through a different company, according to the Washington Post. It’s not clear if Herbert will have to stand before the Orange Allah and slice his hand open with a kukri to swear a blood oath. Or, more seriously, if this workaround might still be seen as a violation of Trump’s edict and Johnson is committing a grave act of heresy against his true Lord and Savior.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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