Disgraced former President Trump has defeated former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley in the Palmetto State’s Republican primary, National Zero projects with 0 percent of precincts reporting to our non-existent decision desk. Just call it a hunch that the fat bastard won the primary.
We’ll update this article with the actual results. In the meantime here’s some of the exit poll results, even though exit polls are mostly useless: Per MSNBC, 32 percent say Trump is unfit for office if convicted of a crime. CNN found about 2/3rds saying Biden was not legitimately elected.