The state of Texas this year will be overwhelmed with an invasion of trillions of dark-colored, disgusting vermin and there’s nothing Governor Low Energy Greg Abbott or Picasso-faced Attorney General Ken Paxton can do about it, as the Austin American-Statesman reports two overlapping broods of cicadas are set to emerge from the ground to terrorize and annoy white Texans.
“What makes this rather unusual is that both broods are emerging during the same year,” said Mount St Joseph University biology Professor Dr Gene Kritsky. “Now the last time these two particular broods emerged together was in 1803. To give people some historical perspective, that’s when Thomas Jefferson was president of the United States,” Kritsky added about the inferior, darkly-colored filth that no law can stop from replacing normal-sized, quieter bugs during an election year.