RFK Jr forced to restart ballot access petition in Nevada

Batshit anti-vax assclown Robert F Kennedy Jr will be forced to restart his ballot access petition process and gather 15,000 signatures all over again in Nevada due to his not having yet selected a running mate, a requirement for a presidential ticket in the Silver State, CBS News reports.

Bobby Jr will have until August 7th to re-gather the signatures after, as expected, some rich guy’s wife joins his campaign on Tuesday. It’s not clear what happened with QAaron Rodgers.

Team Ketamine gains access to Medicare payment systems

Maryland federal judge blocks Trump birthright citizenship order

WATCH LIVE: Another dysfunctional House Oversight shitshow

Philippines veep impeached over threats to assassinate president

Florida man escapes fatal crash scene by climbing onto semi

Michael Jordan’s son informs cops that he’s Michael Jordan’s son after drunkenly turning Lamborghini SUV onto train tracks

Alex Soros has too much influence over Dems, declares Elon Musk

USPS abruptly reverses China parcel policy

Gazans not thrilled by Trump proposal

(Snappy headline about where this was headed goes here)

Trump’s America: $40,000 worth of eggs stolen in Pennsylvania

Tired: Greenland, Wired: Gaza

Idaho man made powerful secret ring to steal shit from Walmart

Mangione hires death penalty expert lawyer

WATCH LIVE: Corrupt, genocidal autocrats high-five each other

Greenland parliament considering ban on foreign campaign donors

USGS still monitoring Hawaiian volcanic eruption, for now

FBI agents sue to block Trump purge

British policewoman faces charges for drunkenly groping other male cops while now ex-boyfriend, also a cop, was present in pub

Migrants headed to Guantanamo for internment

MAGA Congressman: Economic pain will defeat ChiCom fentanyl

Bobby Brainworms advances out of committee

President guarantees nominee will cure autism

Waffle House offering special price on eggs

Texas man terrified his undocumented dad may be deported

Frau Ingraham gently calls Trump a weakling

New Pentagon spokesman dropped 2022 Pennsylvania GOP Senate bid after judge found allegations of domestic abuse credible

NYPD nabs two teenage subway train joyriders

Fox News reports Blue State illegally defying Red State

ChiComs hit US oil, coal, LNG with tariffs, investigating Google

FBI’s X-Files unit fear getting snagged in Trump’s Capitol riot purge

#MAGA #WINNING #MAGA #WINNING #MAGA

Trudeau also says Trump caved

Mallory McMorrow to launch Michigan Senate bid

Fat idiot admits he’s not actually in charge

Stocks pare back losses after Sheinbaum works Trump

New acting DC US Attorney vows to be Musk’s personal enforcer

MAGA Land seeing multiple moves ahead in this 5D chess game

Trump already caves to Mexico

“He’s going to take care of us, just as he promised to do”

US-Canada trade talks going great

ICE releasing undocumented detainees from custody

Dems planning to get their pound of flesh in funding talks

British Columbia premier bans sales of booze made in Red States

“We may have short term, some, a little pain”

Wall Street Journal controlled by China: report

Minoan-era cataclysm suddenly trending again in Greece

Eric Schmitt sort of admits Trump is a fucking mentally ill shitbrain

Punxsutawney Phil and Staten Island Chuck diverge again

Ketamine Brain sues Lego, Nestle, Tyson Foods, and others for not buying ads on platform filled with racist conspiracy theory bullshit