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Utah schoolkids walk out in protest of imaginary furries

Kids and adults participated in an hours-long walkout at Mt Nebo Middle School in Payson, Utah on Wednesday in protest of an imaginary outbreak of furry-ism among the student body, ABC4 reports.

To introduce furries to the religiously conservative Utah media market, the Salt Lake City-based Nexstar-owned ABC affiliate contacted a furry identified only as “Strudel” to serve as their expert on the lifestyle. “Furry is a fandom. We don’t think we’re animals. I really like the idea of animals that walk and talk, so I’m going to dress up as one, as kind of a fun sort of cosplay thing,” Strudel said.

“According to WebMD, a furry is someone who has an interest in animals with human qualities, and who sometimes dresses up as a cartoon-like version of an animal,” the article then says, strongly indicating that the reporter was still deeply confused after speaking to “Strudel” and had to go do some research themselves, settling for a resource that makes it sound like a psychiatric disorder.

Lol. Anyway, the kids were holding signs saying canned “Mom’s for Liberty” lines like “Compelled speech is not free speech,” and “I will not comply,” and another saying “We just wanted to learn,” even though it’s actually the protestors demanding more compulsion and forced compliance through changes to the dress code to ban furry costumes… That none of the kids are actually wearing.

“A lot of the information that’s been put out there is completely incorrect and inaccurate,” said Nebo School District spokesman Seth Sorensen. “Today, we had some students and parents choose to exercise their right to assemble, and do a little protest for what they perceived was something that was happening in the school. It actually is not something that’s been occurring,” he continued, saying some kids were simply wearing headbands with animal ears on them. “Interestingly enough, [the protestors] really didn’t address us with anything they wanted changed,” about the dress code.

The protestors seem to remember it differently, claiming there are anywhere from five to 100 furries at the school constantly biting, scratching, spraying air freshener on, barking at and chasing other students. ABC4’s article did not address the kitty litter situation at Mt Nebo.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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