Russian dictator Vladimir Putin swore to uphold the rule of lawlessness and remain faithful to corrupting the effective non-existent constitution on Tuesday as he began his fifth term of office ruling over his impoverished, dysfunctional, and partially radioactive kingdom, AFP reports.
“We will pass through this difficult, decisive period with dignity and become even stronger,” the Prince of Polonium said to his assembled supplicants. “We are a united and great nation. Together we will overcome all obstacles, achieve everything we have planned, and together we will win.”