North Korean propaganda chief Kim Ki-nam died Tuesday at the age of 94, the Guardian reports citing state media. It’s a remarkable occurrence in the impoverished communist dictatorship that someone actually lived to age 94 and did not die of malnutrition, assassination by a jealous internecine rival, or execution for some picayune fuckup at any point over the last seven decades.
Obese tyrant Kim Jong-Un (no known relation), who might live to 43 if he cuts back on the smokes, announced the elder Kim’s passing “with bitter grief over the loss of a veteran revolutionary who had remained boundlessly loyal” whilst serving all three generations of the ruling dynasty since the 1950s, ordering that a state funeral be planned to honor the wisened mastermind of statist fiction.
South Korean officials had nicknamed Kim Ki-nam the “North Korean Goebbels,” and credited him with creating the cult of the “Paektu Dynasty,” the belief that the ruling Kim family were the heirs of some kind of divine providence. No need to look much further than that level of asskissery for a means of explaining Ki-nam’s unnatural longevity in a place where Kim Jong-un one time ordered his defense minister publicly blown up with an anti-aircraft gun for falling asleep during a meeting.