Categories
Uncategorized

Iowa Democrat throws a curveball to constituents

It’s almost like it was written by some librul Hollyweird screenwriter and made into a movie by former Trump Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin:  A way-past-his-prime politician receives a call from the local minor league baseball team in dire need of a starting pitcher, so he made his debut before a crowd of constituents and pitched a gem from the mound.

Described by Sports Illustrated (which mercifully disposed of the “politician producing from the hill” pun early in the story), that’s exactly what happened to 44-year-old Democratic Iowa state legislator J.D. Scholten, who was volunteering at a local music festival when he got the call from Sioux Falls Explorers manager Steve Montgomery.  With a bullpen exhausted from two long games, Mongomery needed someone to face the Milwaukee Milkmen after the starting pitcher fell ill.  He went through his contact list of recent releases or retired pitchers, but no one was available on Fourth of July weekend.

Enter Scholten, a former minor league player who had been played for the Explorers two decades earlier.  He returned the voicemail message Montgomery left as Scholten helped at the festival–after determining it wasn’t a joke–and within hours he was at the stadium, signed to a $1,400 per month contract, fitted with a uniform, and in the bullpen warming up.  While his new teammates joked that he’d earn their votes if he pitched a shutout, Scholten had a very respectable outing, going 6 2/3rds innings while giving up only two runs.

Scholten wasn’t exactly completely out of practice as a pitcher.  In 2023, while the Iowa legislature was on a break, he got a call from a team in a Japanese professional league that needed an emergency pitcher.  He ended with a 2-1 record with 31 strikeouts in 26 innings pitched.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

WATCH LIVE: Todd and K$H’s Excellent Press Conference

1 hour ago

Fox News-brained senior citizen actually constitutionally empowered to follow through on his bullshit rants, doesn’t

3 hours ago

Patriot arrested outside of Trump’s California golf course

4 hours ago

DCCC adds another 12 seats to target list

6 hours ago

Chuck Edwards throws in the towel after Ethics finding

7 hours ago

Axios “reality checks” Trump’s “golden age”

7 hours ago

Abdul El-Sayed wins Michigan Dem Senate nomination

16 hours ago

Stuffed toy bunny hostage situation, other matters, unresolved

19 hours ago

Minnesota MAGA Congressman hints Tom Emmer possibly dying

20 hours ago

Box-o-Wine brought evidence to White House

23 hours ago

Max Miller asks House Ethics to investigate him

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump defense lawyer confirmation hearing

1 day ago

David Ellison bitches about antitrust lawsuits in NYT op-ed

1 day ago

British Neo-Nazi running as Tory in local UK election

1 day ago

Fox News reports Nick Shirley staging dumbassery in Ceuta

1 day ago

“Things aren’t looking good”

2 days ago

Box-o-Wine arrives at White House

2 days ago

Trump considering firing Judge Box-o-Wine over pool case fail

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Pharaoh signs some lame executive order

2 days ago

Surprise! Jim Jordan getting in on New Jersey voter fuckup

2 days ago

Frailty, thy name is Donald

2 days ago

NYC-owned grocery stores might require “library card-esque thing” to enter, which is hypocritical because voter ID blah blah blah

2 days ago

Naoero is the new Nauru

2 days ago

Insecure old loser fails to provide his “REAL Polling Numbers”

2 days ago

Newsmax reports near-dead alcoholic agrees with abusive master

2 days ago

UK gas stations losing £194,000/day to theft since Iran war began

2 days ago

CENTCOM internally crowdsourcing ideas to defeat Iran

2 days ago

Missouri station’s “SHOOTING” placeholder not exciting enough

2 days ago

Blanche orders plug pulled on slush fund

2 days ago

Max Miller refuses to resign and/or drop reelection bid

3 days ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with basic consistency: Sunday AM live

3 days ago

Arkansas state House Republican arrested for domestic battery

3 days ago

Mentally ill president “100 percent disagrees” with crazed alcoholic

4 days ago

Houthi missile threat to critical Saudi oil processing hub “could upend Trump’s midterm message”: Politico on what really matters

4 days ago

Not-Movie Night Friday: The Shadow Over Innsmouth audiobook

5 days ago

Regime admits former Olympian didn’t damage Reflecting Pool

5 days ago

Surprise! President Blood and Soil thrilled by Ceuta rush

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Cabinet members deservingly suffer bleak meeting

5 days ago

Floridians advised to prevent leprosy by avoiding wild armadillos

5 days ago

Bernie Moreno taking familial frustrations out on Anthony Fauci

5 days ago

Spanish North African enclave overrun by 60,000 migrants

5 days ago

Orange Baby whines over his betrayal carrying consequences

5 days ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with very simple, easy tests of moral character

6 days ago

Talarico 51 – Picasso Face 48 in Texas: Fox News poll

6 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Creepy grampa has ideas about trucks

6 days ago

Orange Dictator really, really wants immunity from IRS audits

6 days ago

Now it’s “you can’t go to the Obama museum without a photo ID”

6 days ago

Regime gutting counterterrorism capabilities

6 days ago

Senate GOP postpones Todd Blanche nomination vote

7 days ago

Deeply unpopular tyrant speaks from his throne: Watch Live

7 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x