“Challenge accepted! Starting at 12:01 am, Aug 9, the 2024 Florida Python Challenge™ kicks off, with competitors searching the Everglades to find and remove invasive Burmese pythons. Hundreds of people have registered for their chance to win up to $10,000 in prizes while working to protect Florida’s native wildlife and our incredible Everglades ecosystem. Under the leadership of Governor Ron DeSantis, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, the South Florida Water Management District and the Fish & Wildlife Foundation of Florida host the annual competition to increase awareness about invasive species in the state and the threats they pose to Florida’s ecology. The annual competition also offers the public an opportunity to get directly involved in Everglades conservation through invasive species removal, with this year’s event running until 5 pm on Sunday, Aug 18,” said the Florida Department of Fish and Wildlife in a Thursday press release.

At this point we just take for granted that Florida actually has to do this, that their state is such a goddamned mess environmentally that they need to outsource exterminating the vicious invasive reptiles that prey upon the vicious native reptiles to a Hunger Games-ish contest where the state’s legions of impoverished yokels compete with each other. And that the wildlife agency has to mention the “leadership of Governor Ron DeSantis” because that little bastard’s fragile ego needs to be affirmed in this press statement (three times total, including the part we clipped above).

We’ve got all that priced in here. What did raise our eyebrows however was the ™ appearing in the statement. They fucking trademarked their annual python hunt? Was DeSantis worried that some tourist trap outside Orlando would profit unduly off of his “leadership” by naming their reptile zoo the same? Or that some enterprising clothier could hawk “Florida Python Challenge” t-shirts to participants to toss on before they trudge into the swamps to decapitate the serpents with shovels?