Categories
Uncategorized

Bobby Kennedy Jr needed for chainsaw job in Norway

“Hvaldimir,” the white Beluga whale suspected of being a Russian-trained spy mammal – on account of him being strapped with a camera-mounter harness that said “Equipment St Petersburg” in Cyrillic – has turned up dead in one of the Norwegian fjords he was known to frequent over the past five years or so, the Associated Press reports on a chainsaw gig for Robert F Kennedy Jr.

The 14-foot long whale – whose nickname was a clever portmanteau of hvald (“whale” in Norwegian) and Vladimir, for his boss, Russian dictator Vladimir Putin – was a beloved figure who enjoyed playing with locals despite his ostensible mission to spy on Norwegian civil and military infrastructure, known to follow people around and even respond to hand signals.

“Unfortunately, we found Hvaldimir floating in the sea. He has passed away but it’s not immediately clear what the cause of death is,” said marine biologist Sebastian Strand, who told local media he had examined the whale’s corpse and found no evidence of external injuries. Strand said he’d been following Hvaldimir’s movements for the past three years and was deeply affected by his death. “It’s absolutely horrible,” Strand said, adding that the whale had seemed happy and healthy. “He was apparently in good condition as of (Friday). We have to figure out what might have happened here.”

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Iowans attending Jaydee rally were paid $100 each

26 minutes ago

Tyler Robinson trial to be televised

17 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Corpse makes everyone feel worse

23 hours ago

Virginia Supreme Court overturns redistricting referendum

1 day ago

Regime releases 162 boring UFO files

1 day ago

John Solomon reports K$H just swinging for the fences now

1 day ago

Labour takes a savage beating in local UK elections

1 day ago

Comey tries to duck next court appearance

1 day ago

“That bitch”

2 days ago

US bombs Iranian port but war totally not starting again

2 days ago

Mike Huckabee deeply disappointed in his manchildhood hero

2 days ago

Lula leaves White House without scheduled joint media hit

2 days ago

Chinese oil tanker hit by Iranian fire in Strait of Hormuz

2 days ago

Supreme Court to testify at Senate hearing on May 20th

2 days ago

Lower-profile MAGA outlet airs the rage porn Fox News won’t

2 days ago

Karoline, grandfatherly-aged husband welcome baby girl

2 days ago

The Brainworm turns

2 days ago

Orange Karen screams for Jeffries to be charged

2 days ago

Raisin-textured man confronted with dismal MSM poll on Newsmax

2 days ago

Average gas price increase inches toward price Trump promised

2 days ago

Tim Scott says he thinks “there is a good chance that we will be able to expand the majority if everything goes our way”

2 days ago

President Trump forcefully counters narrative of him as nearly dead

2 days ago

Israel still bombing Gaza

2 days ago

Concern Lady admits to neurological condition

2 days ago

Orange Fuhrer claims Pope wants Iran to have a nuclear weapon

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Robo-wife and Catheter Cushion play pretend

3 days ago

Reich FBI raids Virginia state senate president’s offices

3 days ago

Ted Turner has died

3 days ago

K$H launches witch hunt to find out who “lied” about him

3 days ago

Fox News reports vice president has gone completely woke

3 days ago

Insecure tyrant unwilling to commit to false victory narrative

3 days ago

Jesus Trump post’s approval rating could use some work

3 days ago

Howard Nutlick has rough morning of testimony ahead

3 days ago

Wall Street Journal reports OpenAI suppressing truth about goblins

3 days ago

Putsch fails

4 days ago

Unstable man’s mood swings again

4 days ago

Regime DEI purge missed wannabe Trump assassin at FAA

4 days ago

“Presidential fitness” to be said with a straight face: Watch live

4 days ago

Putsch aims to topple Ramaswamy in Ohio

4 days ago

Trade deficit increase quantifies Trump failure on his own terms

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Boozebreath and General Tendies battle media

4 days ago

US sends Iran a message by blowing up boat in Carribbean

4 days ago

One more cringey misappropriation of Star Wars for the road…

4 days ago

MAGA Congressman Chuck Edwards likes his staffers young

4 days ago

The words “Biden” and “Buttigieg” absent from Spirit’s bankruptcy

5 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump another day closer to death

5 days ago

Cranky old asshole a little late on the “fact check” on ABC News

5 days ago

Orange Ayatollah threatening to wipe Iran out again

5 days ago

May 4th tradition of cringey desecration continues apace

5 days ago

Supreme Court unblocks abortion drug availability

5 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x