Categories
Uncategorized

Florida octogenarian punches alligator in the face (in self-defense)

We had to add that parenthetical qualifier to the headline after realizing that it’s perfectly plausible, by Florida’s standards, that an 84 year-old woman could conceivably punch an alligator in the face, completely unprovoked. It’s just simply not that big of a stretch given National Zero’s lengthy archive of reporting picked up from the Sunshine State, much of it involving alligators.

Anyway, Fox News reports North Fort Myers Dolores Boppel is lucky to be alive after an encounter with one of the vicious reptiles. Boppel told local media she had been feeling uneasy while she was out walking her dog on Thursday night just before the beast emerged suddenly from a pond near her trailer park. “All of a sudden, I had a premonition, I’m telling you,” Boppel said. “It was like, ‘Uh-oh’. It was like a torpedo. I didn’t see anything go that fast in my life.” Boppel tossed her Shih-Tzu, Queen, aside and took the brunt of the attack, with the gator biting into her legs.

Boppel then bopped it in the face, causing the alligator to retreat and give her time to escape with her dog. A neighbor heard screams helped Boppel inside and quickly called 911. Bodycam footage recorded by responding sheriff’s deputies caught Boppel saying “Ma’am, God bless you. The park’s gonna pay for this son of a bitch,” to an EMT who was treating her wounds. Florida Fish and Wildlife officials sent a trapper who found the alligator and relocated it to parts unknown.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Jaydee’s Budapest Blast set for April 7-8th

1 hour ago

WATCH LIVE: Karoline’s Kampf

3 hours ago

Fourth Musketeer’s skeleton possibly found in Netherlands

3 hours ago

Fat idiot adds misplaced apostrophe to self-contradictory lie

5 hours ago

Fox News guy not cutting Jesus Dork any slack, at all

5 hours ago

White House oligarch council named

6 hours ago

“Lol, no”: Iranians on Trump ceasefire offer

7 hours ago

Farm bailout champion alleges Blue States using food stamps and other welfare benefits to buy voters off and keep Dems in power

7 hours ago

Military officials brief toddler with video reel of “stuff blowing up”

8 hours ago

Raskin says Trump had financial motive for stealing docs

9 hours ago

Unintelligence official accuses Mike Flynn, etc of treason

10 hours ago

Dem flips Palm Beach Florida state House seat

20 hours ago

Orange Man endorses Orban, again, for like the third time this year

20 hours ago

John Brennan under criminal investigation

22 hours ago

North Carolina state Senate President concedes primary defeat

23 hours ago

Top Box-o-Wine lieutenant admitted there’s no case against Powell

24 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Markwayne sworn in as second choice after Noem

1 day ago

Florida lawmakers end session before banning synthetic opioid

1 day ago

Ted Cruz hails the courage of Republican Senators who stood up to corrupt, dangerous president and forced him to resign in shame

1 day ago

Steve Bannon gets excited about deploying ICE for midterms again

1 day ago

Delta suspends special Congressional fast lane

1 day ago

Cornhole amped to piss away $200 billion on another forever war

1 day ago

Groomer just completely screwed in Tennessee GOP gov primary

1 day ago

Trump to host notorious Jeffrey Epstein accomplice’s brother

1 day ago

Couchman outraged at air travelers mocking, heckling ICE agents

1 day ago

Jaydee privately rips into Netanyahu over West Bank settler rioting

1 day ago

Fat Hitler votes by mail, again

1 day ago

Bloomberg reports lobster in life vest a symbol of business peril

1 day ago

You’ll never guess who cut off a dead raccoon’s cock and saved it

2 days ago

Oversharing online in 2026: Is now the time?

2 days ago

Regime paying French company $1 billion to not build wind farms

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: SAVE Act kayfabe continues

2 days ago

Kalshi to ban athletes and politicians from platform

2 days ago

Top AIPAC donor, OnlyFans founder dead at 43

2 days ago

Frau Ingraham says paying TSA an unacceptable surrender

2 days ago

Orange God Emperor skipping mass cult gathering

2 days ago

Quadruple amputee arrested for shooting passenger dead while driving: DC CBS affiliate that also says suspect a “cornhole player”

2 days ago

Trump headlines some bullshit “safety” event: Watch live

2 days ago

“Linda in Arizona” came up with ICE at airports idea

2 days ago

Charlie Kirk’s “mentor” dead of “freak” pickleball accident at 76

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Mental Patient yells at reporters

2 days ago

Welsh drug dealer told to turn self in during normal business hours

2 days ago

Viktor Orban orders probe into Russian collusion accusations

2 days ago

Comer not so sure Iranian state TV being honest or trustworthy

2 days ago

Fentanyl found in Missouri store’s Barbie dolls

2 days ago

Newark Liberty Airport evacuated, FAA orders ground stop

2 days ago

Top incel thought leader skeptical of Trump foreign policy moves

2 days ago

Iranian TV: “US president backs down following Iran’s firm warning”

2 days ago

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE FREAKED OUT AT $99/BARREL OIL

2 days ago

“Some Republicans took that as a threat, not a reward”

2 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x