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Team Trump quickly gave up on getting Big Mark to drop out and other tales of horror from inside the Orange God Emperor’s court

Sources on convicted felon former President Trump’s team tell the New York Times that – despite acknowledging a “less than ideal” problem for Lord Orange in a crucial state – they pretty quickly gave up on the idea to try to pressure sick freak North Carolina Lt Governor Mark Robinson into dropping out of the gubernatorial race on Thursday, deciding “that direct pressure probably would not work and could in fact backfire, leading him to dig in and defend himself,” per the Times.

With Trump headed to North Carolina for a rally on Saturday – Robinson will not be on stage with him, probably ever again – Donald’s minions told the Times that Donald’s first reaction privately to the story was that it had nothing to do with him and he’s staying out of it, but they said to expect the disgraced former president to address the matter either at the rally or via Truth Social the usual way: By pretending he hardly knows the man he once called “Martin Luther King on steroids.”

The Times reporting comes after Puck’s Tara Palmeri put together a more general dispatch from within the Great MAGA King’s palace, writing that “with less than seven weeks until the election, the mood within Mar-a-Lago is decidedly grim,” and that the best news is that Don Jr’s engagement to Kim Guilfoyle will probably survive him being spotted in public making out with some Palm Beach socialite and that there’s no truth to the far grosser rumors of a Don Sr-Laura Loomer hookup.

Moving on, Palmeri writes that her sources say Trump will only agree to another debate with Vice President Kamala Harris “if he believes he can extract a significant concession, such as selecting the network,” and that the fat bastard will wage jihad against ABC’s parent company Disney if he wins, despite having ripped Pudding Fingered Florida Gov Ron DeSantis for his war on the brand in 2022.

“Within the campaign, there seems to be wide agreement that with the race this tight, Trump can’t afford to lose another news cycle, and that it’s best to limit the fuck-ups—and therefore, they should prevent him from doing another debate,” Palmeri writes, quoting a Trump minion who says “Why do another debate? So [Kamala Harris] can get another bounce? Once he put out a definitive [Truth Social post] and said no more, the discussion was over.” Such confidence being exuded here.

On another matter: “We are totally fucked in the field,” a minion told Palmeri. “Whoever takes over the Southwest states has to start from scratch and it’s nearly fucking October.” The details Palmeri then briefly goes into aren’t really that important because the whole situation’s such a mess, but basically for some reason Elon Musk’s PAC, which is supposed to be doing the canvassing in Arizona and Nevada is now on its third vendor and they have six and a half weeks to figure out how to get people out in the field to knock on doors and collect data to target low-propensity voters.

Trump himself on Friday seemed really into managing his campaign, posting this video…

…and not even crediting singer/songwriter Kirk Van Houten Jon Kahn when claiming “This is now the Number One song, across all charts, about me. Such an unexpected honor!”

“IF YOU VOTE ILLEGALLY, YOU’RE GOING TO JAIL,” Trump also posted.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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