Spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan is once again stretching his lower abdominal muscles in anticipation of a fierce wrestling match for the top of the House GOP, the Washington Post reports.

The picture the Post paints is of a House Judiciary chair who is unsurprisingly as much of a mentally unhinged asshole to his fellow Republicans as he is to American voters, but has since been (somewhat) chastened since his humiliating defeat in the October 2023 speakership shitshow, trying to build bridges by sharing his donors’ wealth with colleagues who face actual challenges in November because they represent less-ridiculously gerrymandered districts, as well as the NRCC writ large. The most obvious chance Jordan has to move up is if the GOP loses the majority because then they’re likely to kick Mike Johnson, which in turn will create an opening in leadership.

Jordan will then have to outwit other pieces of shit Steve Scalise, Tom Emmer, and Elise Stefanik to win the top spot. Which might be kind of tough, as the Post writes “Some Republicans still remain irate and may not ever support him in leadership because of how he comported himself during the last speakership election… Others just don’t trust Jordan given how he shunned helping out his non-Freedom Caucus colleagues throughout his early career in Congress. His scorched-earth tactics and refusal to be a team player and contribute to the party’s campaign coffers drew the ire of many colleagues who believed that he contributed to Republican losses in close races. Those actions set the example for a larger crop of far-right members who still refuse to donate to the NRCC and now campaign against GOP colleagues in primary elections, helping to drive intraparty divisions.” Lol.