Peeved Peruvian prosecutors postulate plastic proboscis procedure perfidy perpetrated per President oh shit her name is Dina Boluarte and the whole P thing is ruined. Also the “per” didn’t make a lot of sense. Anyway, Bloomberg reports that Boluarte, already under criminal investigation for allegedly accepting Rolexes from who the fuck knows, faces another shitshow for allegedly secretly getting at least one nose job while she was supposed to be presidenting.

The line from her office is that she’s never taken any time off for any medical procedures, elective or not, but apparently former Prime Minister Alberto Otarola didn’t get that memo and acknowledged that Boluarte had undergone a “rhinoplasty” for “respiratory issues” in testimony to lawmakers this week. So, yeah, that guy fucked up. Probably thought he was helping by making it sound like Boluarte was getting a blockage removed instead of making her schnoz look more attractive.

Boluarte’s approval ratings are in the mid-single digits, making her the most unpopular national leader in the world in the places where reliable-ish polling exists. There undoubtedly at least several warlords in Africa or the Caucasus that would have higher approval ratings if Gallup could reach out to them and somehow get honest answers without fear of being hacked to death with a machete for registering disapproval of their warlord. Boluarte would do well to resign and claim asylum with one of these warlords in exchange for the Rolexes and probably her government-owned private jet.

Otherwise she’s probably headed for a stay in one of Peru’s famous post-presidential suites.