Bashar Al-Assad flees Syria

Cowardly Russian-backed Syrian dictator Bashar Al-Assad fled Syria on Sunday, too chickenshit to go down fighting against the rebels who stormed into the country’s capital, Bloomberg reports.

Mandarin Madman invites Xi to inauguration

Small Kentucky town ends

Fat bastard celebrates resignation of guy he appointed

Property Brothers indicted on federal sex trafficking charges

Chris Wray to resign before being fired

Orange Fuhrer to end ICE restriction on raiding churches, hospitals

Mace thanks Trump for calling her after “assault,” can’t wait until he returns to office and makes trans people go away or something

Little Debbie for me, not for thee

FBI arrests Utah Homeland Security agent for selling bath salts

Hegseth actually getting in front of something for once

Don Jr 💔 Kim Guilfoyle

Philippines veep fucks off from hearing on her threats to president

Judge blocks Infowars sale to the Onion

Jesse Watters really excited for US to annex Canada

Stygian gorgon headed to land of ancient myths and legend

Mangione’s manifesto

Google-backed chatbot told kid to kill parents: lawsuit

Manhattan DA asks judge to postpone Trump sentence to 2029

“There are still avenues to hold Hunter Biden accountable”

Corn syrup country fears Bobby Jr’s influence on Trump policies

Georgia cop kills woman in crash while rushing to respond to Russian false flag bomb threat at Marjorie Taylor Greene’s home

Breitbart reports Biden copying Trump’s routine

Orange Hitler mocks Trudeau as “governor” of Canada

Tren de Aragua’s tentacles reach into North Dakota: New York Post

Surgeon General nominee Rube Goldberg-icided her dad in 1990

Jesse Watters evidently not down with populist vigilantism

Nevada commissioner tosses Murdoch bid to alter family trust

Tulsi doesn’t want to talk about her dude’s big loss

Luigi Mangione named in Thompson assassination

Arby’s employee killed in the line of duty after trying to kill cop

Man in custody in Pennsylvania in connection to Thompson murder

“Cause I love the Constitution, I’m an originalist, but…”

Supreme Court turns away Trump Manhattan gag order petition

True crime TikTokers meh on helping find UHC CEO’s assassin

Yoon banned from leaving South Korea

Fox News reports former nepo-hire on-air talent leaving current nepo-hire job amid speculation she’s going to be nepo-hired again

MAGA think tanker not optimistic about ending 14th Amendment

Habba headed to the White House

Assad given villain’s welcome in Moscow

Orange Fuhrer says he’ll deport citizens born to illegal immigrants

Long Island Trekkie getting non-stop harassment for her nerd-dom

Bashar Al-Assad flees Syria

Syrian rebels in Damascus, searching for Assad

“Why Is the Media Fixated on Pete Hegseth While Anderson Cooper Takes Shots Every NYE on CNN?” asks right wing site

South Korean president survives impeachment vote

Random thoughts Friday, Volume CCIII

Volcano near Anchorage, Alaska sounds like it’s getting all crampy and irritable like it’s that time when you should stay out of its way

Fuentes booked

NASA sets about unfucking Artemis lunar capsule’s heat shield

“We’ve all had some indiscretions in our past and things like that”