“Two Portland men lost their lives while searching for Sasquatch in eastern Skamania County. On 12/25/2024, around 1:00 AM, the Skamania County Communications Center received a report of two overdue subjects who were searching for Sasquatch and planned to return home on 12/24/2024.”

“When the pair did not return home, a family member reported the subjects missing and endangered. Flock camera footage was accessed, based on this information provided. A recently installed Flock camera did locate the associated vehicle with the missing/endangered subjects, allowing a Skamania County Sheriff’s Office Search and Rescue Coordinator to assist in locating the missing subjects’ vehicle off of Oklahoma Road, near Willard, Washington. Over the course of three days, the Skamania County Sheriff’s Office Search and Rescue Coordinator acquired over 60 volunteer search and rescue personnel, including canine, drone, and ground searching teams.”

“Additionally, an air asset was acquired from the United States Coast Guard, based in Astoria, Oregon, to assist in the search utilizing FLIR. After a grueling, three-day search over difficult terrain and harsh weather conditions, the 59-year-old male and 37-year-old-male, both from Portland, Oregon, who were reported missing/endangered were located, deceased, in a heavily wooded area of the Gifford Pinchot National Forest. Both deaths appear to be due to exposure, based on weather conditions and ill-preparedness,” says the Skamania County Sheriff’s Office in a Facebook post.

See? Bigfoot was “involved” in the deaths, thus justifying the sensational headline. Plus, while it’s perfectly plausible that two guys who think they’re going to find Bigfoot would also be the types to be unequipped and unprepared to hike out in the wilderness in December we can’t rule out the possibility that the “exposure” was exposure to Bigfoot, that they were so scared by the mere sight of the legendary beast they literally died right then and there, their corpses freezing afterward.

That theory’s totally possible AND it doesn’t require you to go into “cover-up” mode. Should you want to go into coverup mode then the whole thing’s a blank slate and there’s almost unlimited room to involve the shadowy forces you believe continue to hide Bigfoot from the public. Have fun with it.