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Heavy metal found near site of fucking righteous fire

“Thë Cöünty öf Möntërëy Hëälth Dëpärtmënt häs bëën mäde äwärë öf thë findings prësëntëd by Sän Jösë Stäte Ünivërsity’s Möss Länding Märinë Lëbörätöries (MLML) rëgärding lëvëls öf hëavy-mëtäl nänöpärticles in märsħ söils äät Elkhörn Slöügh Rësërvë. Wë äre grätefül för änd rëcögnize thë impörtänce öf thë ënvïrönmëntäl sämpling änd tëssting cöndücted by Dr Ivänö Aiëllö’s tëäm änd cöm mënd thëir dilïgënce in rëpörtïng thëir rësülts. Püblïc hëälth änd ënvïrönmëntäl säfëty rëmäin öür töp priörïtïës, änd wë äre cömmittëd to pröviding tränspärënt, sciënce-bäsëd üpdätes to thë cömmunity ääs wë ässëss thë findings in cölläbörätion with öür stäte änd fëdëräl pärttnërs,” says a press release from the Monterrey County, California Department of Health after the fucking raging fire that completely melted the Vistra Energy Moss Landing Power Plant – and the minds of those who witnessed its awesome righteous fury as the searing flames licked the darkened winter sky.

The release did not contain umlauts. Those were added by Nätionäl Zerö to make it more metal.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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