Experiencing some automotive issues in central Florida early Tuesday, specifically that he drove his $300,000 Lamborghini SUV onto railroad tracks while drunk and likely high on cocaine after fleeing from a traffic stop in a neighboring county, Marcus Jordan, son of NBA legend Michael Jordan, informed officers from the Maitland Police Department of his famous forebear, TMZ reports.

“Bro,” Jordan told one of the officers who approached the vehicle as he hit the gas and the wheels spun. “I’m Marcus Jordan. I’m Michael Jordan’s son. I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m just trying to get home. And I made a wrong turn. OK? clearly, we would just like to get our car off of the fucking train tracks which we were not trying to be on,” Jordan continued as he explained his quandary as seen on bodycam video obtained by the celebrity media outlet. The scion of the greatest pro basketball player of all time was then subjected to a field sobriety test, which he failed, and then a search of his pants, prior to which he claimed all cops would find was “big dick and some big balls.”

The assertion of the size of Jordan’s genitals was neither confirmed nor denied by law enforcement. They did however also find a small bag of cocaine, which resulted in a possession charge on top of the DUI crash with property damage and resisting an officer without violence counts. Jordan was released from the local lockup several hours later and did not comment to reporters as he departed.