Like Mike Pence being stuck as the “COVID czar,” and to a lesser extent Kamala Harris getting stuck as “Border czar,” JD Vance is now adjusting to life as the Vice President and getting a shit job being stuck as the “TikTok czar,” as Punchbowl News reports citing a source that Jaydee has been tasked with “quarterbacking a deal to save” the platform before the self-imposed April deadline.

National Security Advisor Mike Waltz is the “running back” on the deal. Annoyingly overcomplicated story short, this is a pretty tall order given the ChiCom-backed owner ByteDance’s unwillingness to sell, even while facing the prospect of a complete shutdown, and if Trump had just shut up and let it die he could have let Democrats own it after former President Joe Biden was the one who signed the bill forcing it. Now Donald’s the one holding the bag with his order suspending enforcement of the law for 90 days. Naturally he hands the bag to couchfucker and other lowly peon Waltz.

“The Vance/Waltz assignment sprouts from a mix of congressional dysfunction, as well as Trump’s own tendency to overpromise and skirt the rules,” Punchbowl writes of the “politically sensitive mission” for which the “fallout could be intense if the 170 million Americans and millions of businesses that use the app suddenly find themselves cut off.” It’s already impossible to download TikTok from the iOS and Android app stores as both tech giants would face massive fines for making it available again. Obviously that’s a problem for growth but one would have to believe the ChiComs are willing to hold out considerably longer than a regular privately owned company would, making the former Silicon Valley bro Jaydee’s task of putting together a deal all the more difficult.