“Today, Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey filed suit against Starbucks for violating federal and state laws prohibiting race discrimination. The lawsuit asserts that Starbucks enforces race-and-sex-based hiring practices, unlawfully segregates employees, and provides exclusive training and employment benefits to select groups in violation of anti-discrimination laws,” says Missouri Attorney General Andrew Bailey’s office in a statement. The complaint itself is a fucking riot.

“As of September 28, 2024, Starbucks’ US workforce was 8.1 percent black, 31.7 percent Hispanic, 5.6 percent Asian, 47.8 percent white, 0.6 percent American Indian or Alaska Native, and 0.5 percent Native Hawaiian or Other Pacific Islander. Starbucks’ US workforce was 70.9 percent women and 28.4 percent men. In other words, since 2020, Starbuck’s workface has become more female and less white,” Bailey’s team writes and, no, they don’t really dog-whistle where they’re going with this.

“The injuries that Starbucks’ discriminatory patterns, practices, and policies cause also create indirect effects on an even greater portion of Missouri’s population: consumers of Starbucks’ goods and services. Starbucks no doubt serves more consumers in Missouri than it has employees in Missouri. By making employment decisions based on characteristics that have nothing to do with one’s ability to work well, Starbucks, for example, hires people by thumbing the scale based on at least one of Starbucks’ preferred immutable characteristics rather than an evaluation of an applicant’s merit and qualifications.” Yup, the payoff’s coming in the next paragraph.

“Making hiring decision on non-merit considerations will skew the hiring pool towards people who are less qualified to perform their work, increasing costs for Missouri’s consumers. This is because more mistakes are made, more time is required to train and make up for such mistakes, even though mistakes would occur less and resources, including time and materials, would be better preserved by employees with better (and actual) job qualifications. So, with Starbucks’ discriminatory patterns, practices, and policies, Missouri’s consumers are required to pay higher prices and wait longer for goods and services that could be provided for less had Starbucks employed the most qualified workers, regardless of their race, color, sex, or national origin.” Ughhhhhhh, holy shit, lol.

What the actual fuck. Like does anyone need to say it here? He’s filing a federal civil complaint bitching that non-white and female employees cause delays at Starbucks. Not even couching his whining in some third-order way that too much “DEI sensitivity training” or whatever is indirectly contributing to slow service for him to get his fucking latte on the way to the office. What a cunt.