FASCISM! Speaker Mike Johnson’s chief of staff Hayden Haynes was arrested Tuesday night by Capitol Police after President Trump’s spectacular speech to the joint session of Congress, NBC News reports. Capitol cops, who have had it in for Republicans for some reason since January 2021 set up some kind of sting operation by putting a vehicle behind Haynes’s right as he was backing out of the spot, ensuring they could arrest him for driving under the influence of alcohol.

Pam Bondi and Kash Patel must immediately open an investigation into what that USCP vehicle was doing there and if they knew Haynes had been drinking, why they didn’t stop him from getting behind the wheel before the so-called “accident.” They said it right up front to NBC: “A driver backed into a parked vehicle last night around 11:40 pm. We responded and arrested them for DUI.”

To drop the tired sarcasm for a minute, NBC points out something pretty funny but also sick: This case won’t be prosecuted by that cocksucker US Attorney Ed Martin, but the DC Attorney General’s office. That they have to fucking mention that and also write “Last month, the Metropolitan Police Department in Washington sent an arrest warrant for Rep Cory Mills, R-Fla, but Martin’s office did not sign off. Mills had been investigated over an alleged assault in an apartment building, and Mills said police had helped ‘resolve a private matter,'” says a lot about where we’re at right now.