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Mediaite reporter controls orgasm long enough to compose article

“Uhnnnn… Oh my… Uhnnnn yes! Oh mmmmmummmhmmm! UHNNNNNN! Mmmmm… Oh yes, Steven A Smi- uhnnnnn Oh my Gooooood- Mmmmhmmm uhn He’s flirting with a presidential ru- MMM… MMMMM… Uhnnnn, mmmm,” Mediaite staff writer Zach Leeman probably moaned on Thursday.

“Mmhnnn… Okay, okay, so the headline’s gotta say ‘Stephen A Smith Doubles Down on 2028 Run Chatter As He Slams Dems For Havi-‘ OH GOD, YES! YES! YESSSSSS! AHHHHNNNNNN!” Leeman continued during what had to be like a three hour-long struggle to contain his spasm-ridden ecstasy.

Leeman may or may not have then immediately died of a purely sexual pleasure-induced cerebral edema at the mere inkling that Bill Maher could join the ticket as Smith’s running mate.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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