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MAGA Land skeptical of a stupid conspiracy theory for a change

“You give POSchumer far too much credit” – The current top comment on a Saturday morning PJ Media column headlined “Did Schumer Deliberately Enrage Democrats in Order to Unite Them?

It’s something of a rare gem of a Trump fanboy comment in that it’s the voice of reason in contrast to the content above. The column by some assclown Rick Moran itself is kind of on-brand for PJ Media and the other sites under its umbrella – Townhall, RedState, HotAir, etc – in which the opinion/analysis tends goes into these freaking weird ass ruminations where they’re worrying their fellow MAGA assholes are underestimating this or that potential political threat to the reich.

And yeah, “Schumer isn’t stupid. It may be that he’s using up his prestige, carefully husbanded over his 30 years in Washington, to act as a punching bag to unite the Democrats in any way possible,” is proooooobably overestimating the acumen and motives of current Dem Senate minority leader.

Now two things can be true at the same time here: One is that there were no good options for Schumer. It was either cave to Trump by keeping the government open while endorsing the fat bastard’s continuing resolution that fucks over way too many people in way too many ways, yanks $1 billion in funding from the city of Washington, DC’s operating budget and all sorts of other terrible shit, or go into a shutdown and trust that Elon Musk isn’t going to use that to annihilate what still remains of the federal workforce. If there was any grenade Schumer was falling on here that’s it.

The other thing that’s true is that Schumer’s been a pussy for years and did not have a real plan for playing hardball on this, irrespective of whether those raging against him now had realistic expectations going in. It should’ve been clear weeks ago, when that first funding vote cleared the House, that it isn’t 2023 anymore and Mike Johnson isn’t relying on Democratic votes to keep the lights on. He has the fear of Trump behind him to keep the Freedom Caucasians and their ilk in line.

It’s no surprise at all that Schumer folded. Just look at how the previous Congress went: Yes House Republicans were comically inept at their efforts to undermine Joe Biden, they couldn’t even fucking impeach him. But even if it moved approximately zero actual swing voters, it kept their base engaged and tuned in. What did Schumer do to undermine Trump with his majority? Not even going to bother coming up with the handful of stern letters written for investigations that went nowhere.

The simple truth is that not once was there anything in the Dem Senate like the fiery House January 6th Committee hearings in 2022 or even the Comer/Jordan amateur hours of 2023/2024.

Is that entirely fair given the cultural differences between the House and the Senate? No, but neither is life. The fact is that the job security that Senators and their leadership enjoy relative to House members/leadership is no fucking excuse for years of inaction. Can you also bring up a million examples of MAGA voters crying about Mitch McConnell and now John Thune over this or that and they’re not going to sound terribly different from the outrage among libs now toward Chuck Schumer? Yes, but again, that doesn’t fucking matter. Painful as it is to admit even Kevin McCarthy looked more aggressive in comparison when he hilariously tried to save his job by launching that fake Biden impeachment inquiry before getting run out of Congress anyway.

“Tried” is the word there. He tried. He failed because he sucked and we all had a good laugh at him, yet it’s still more than we can say about Chuck Schumer. He certainly had a lot more to work with when it came to Trump than fucking James Comer did subpoenaing Hunter Biden’s art dealer. And if that failed and Dems were in the exact same place now then they’d at least be significantly more willing to understand that Schumer’s Kobayashi Maru situation with government funding this week was indeed impossible, that there were no good options, he’d be trusted to handle the next big challenge more aggressively, and AOC would not be openly plotting to primary him in 2028.

So no, PJ Media columnist Rick Moran, it does not seem like there’s any actual bigger picture to Chuck Schumer’s feckless cuntishness. Your reader is right to doubt your wisdom here, you idiot.

Endorsement: Adam Schiff for Senate Minority Leader, Ruben Gallego for deputy, Elissa Slotkin for whip. We need Congressmen/women to shake things up in the Senate. Ones fresh out of the House.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

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