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Bondi overpromises future under-delivery to MAGA nation

US Attorney General Pam Bondi on Tuesday took the time out of her no doubt extremely busy day serving the American people as chief law enforcement officer to sign off on a statement one of her minions wrote that read: “The swarm of violent attacks on Tesla property is nothing short of domestic terrorism. The Department of Justice has already charged several perpetrators with that in mind, including in cases that involve charges with five-year mandatory minimum sentences. We will continue investigations that impose severe consequences on those involved in these attacks, including those operating behind the scenes to coordinate and fund these crimes.”

Yeah, that last bit definitely smacks of writing a check one’s ass is incapable of cashing. Yeah, she can and will distract the fanboys with other shit, new “Monsters of the Week,” and so on but it’s one thing to deter these attacks by assigning FBI agents to overnight stakeouts at fucking Tesla dealerships, which she’s probably already doing. Another is claiming that she’s going to uncover the vast shadowy army of terrorists and their leaders, setting herself up for some follow-up questions that never get answered as lone wolf after lone wolf bring fire and fury to Ketamine Brain’s empire.

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