Categories
Uncategorized

Pro-Hooters Villager wrongly nervous over chain’s bankruptcy

A resident of The Villages, Florida expressed to Villages-News.com a level of apprehension over the fate of the still-inchoate Hooters location in the vast retirement community after the wings-and-boobs-themed chain’s corporate owner announced Monday it had filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

“I know that in my community there are at least 10 individuals who will be most disappointed if Hooters is unable to open due to financial difficulties,” the Village of Dabney resident Chuck Quincy said, his overly formal language coming across as a somewhat forced means of avoiding saying he’s looking forward to checking out the tits on the 19 year-old waitresses there and possibly buying them expensive shit in the hopes that they’ll engage in minor acts of prostitution while seated in his golf cart behind the establishment. “All were looking forward to the grand opening,” Quincy added.

Villages-News reports that Quincy and the at least 10 other individuals should fear not given that construction on the new Hooters continued briskly this week and that it’s the brand itself in dire straits, not the franchisee that manages it. “Hooters Inc” is solvent, owns half of the top 30 performing locations, and the restructuring plan specifically calls for such owner-operators to take the helm of the troubled brand. Put together it means the future’s looking Hooterful in the Villages.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Princess Donald cries over his magical ballroom’s disappearance

23 minutes ago

Bitch Cassidy and the Sunsetting Career

3 hours ago

White House economic wiener retcons July jobs report

4 hours ago

July jobs report smashes expectations

5 hours ago

Murkowski a no on Todd Blanche

7 hours ago

Orange Fuhrer refuses to endorse John Thune for Senate leader

8 hours ago

Andy Ogles loses primary

9 hours ago

Jon Husted’s wife or someone finally told him to man the fuck up

23 hours ago

Fat president still screaming about “fake news” and shit

1 day ago

“How to Lose Friends and Antagonize Presidents” by Thom Tillis

1 day ago

Beaver attacks prompt closure of Maryland state park waterways

1 day ago

Bunnygate scandal continues to engulf Miller campaign

1 day ago

Enraged Fuhrer vows “treasonous” leakers being “hunted down”

1 day ago

Failed casino owner shares business wisdom in Vegas: Live

2 days ago

Jon Husted has no opinion on Max Miller

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Todd and K$H’s Excellent Press Conference

2 days ago

Fox News-brained senior citizen actually constitutionally empowered to follow through on his bullshit rants, doesn’t

2 days ago

Patriot arrested outside of Trump’s California golf course

2 days ago

DCCC adds another 12 seats to target list

2 days ago

Chuck Edwards throws in the towel after Ethics finding

2 days ago

Axios “reality checks” Trump’s “golden age”

2 days ago

Abdul El-Sayed wins Michigan Dem Senate nomination

3 days ago

Stuffed toy bunny hostage situation, other matters, unresolved

3 days ago

Minnesota MAGA Congressman hints Tom Emmer possibly dying

3 days ago

Box-o-Wine brought evidence to White House

3 days ago

Max Miller asks House Ethics to investigate him

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump defense lawyer confirmation hearing

3 days ago

David Ellison bitches about antitrust lawsuits in NYT op-ed

3 days ago

British Neo-Nazi running as Tory in local UK election

3 days ago

Fox News reports Nick Shirley staging dumbassery in Ceuta

3 days ago

“Things aren’t looking good”

4 days ago

Box-o-Wine arrives at White House

4 days ago

Trump considering firing Judge Box-o-Wine over pool case fail

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Pharaoh signs some lame executive order

4 days ago

Surprise! Jim Jordan getting in on New Jersey voter fuckup

4 days ago

Frailty, thy name is Donald

4 days ago

NYC-owned grocery stores might require “library card-esque thing” to enter, which is hypocritical because voter ID blah blah blah

4 days ago

Naoero is the new Nauru

4 days ago

Insecure old loser fails to provide his “REAL Polling Numbers”

4 days ago

Newsmax reports near-dead alcoholic agrees with abusive master

4 days ago

UK gas stations losing £194,000/day to theft since Iran war began

4 days ago

CENTCOM internally crowdsourcing ideas to defeat Iran

4 days ago

Missouri station’s “SHOOTING” placeholder not exciting enough

4 days ago

Blanche orders plug pulled on slush fund

4 days ago

Max Miller refuses to resign and/or drop reelection bid

5 days ago

Jim Jordan wrestles with basic consistency: Sunday AM live

5 days ago

Arkansas state House Republican arrested for domestic battery

5 days ago

Mentally ill president “100 percent disagrees” with crazed alcoholic

6 days ago

Houthi missile threat to critical Saudi oil processing hub “could upend Trump’s midterm message”: Politico on what really matters

6 days ago

Not-Movie Night Friday: The Shadow Over Innsmouth audiobook

7 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x