Categories
Uncategorized

Straw man predicts he’s out of business by the end of the year

Illinois paper straw manufacturer Gaetano “Guy” Spinelli, the Trump voter whose business is in a death spiral with orders down 85 percent since last year after his customers ghosted for reasons unclear following the convicted felon president’s declaration of jihad against them, tells WBEZ he’s going to be out of business before the end of year if things don’t turn around soon, somehow.

Apparently Spinelli has quickened his pace of sending unanswered correspondence to the White House as last month he told the Chicago Tribune the number was at five letters and a dozen emails with the number now at 10 letters and 25 emails. “I’m not a billionaire like him,” Spinelli said. “Two million dollars,” the amount of his life savings that he invested in launching Boss Straw “is a lot of money for me. Us little guys, who he claims he’s for – he should be proud of us.”

Standing inside his factory now with four fewer than the nine employees he began the year with, 14 million unsold paper straws, and 15 percent of the previous year’s sales volume, Spinelli said “We got to get China out of this marketplace because they’re ruining the world. I don’t want anything from China. They’re the worst thieves in the world,” and that he supports Trump “getting illegal immigrants out of the country. The things he has done are exactly what he campaigned on.”

Except the part about paper straws. “What do you think that does to a paper straw company? It cripples us because the president said it,” Spinelli lamented. “If it keeps up the way it is, he will drive me out of business by the end of this year. It would be the end of the story.” Stick around for if and when National Zero can report that Spinelli and Boss Straw’s story does indeed truly well end.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

WATCH LIVE: Loser snaps at reporters for an indefinite period

29 minutes ago

Orange Overlord trying to maneuver Hegseth into Senate

2 hours ago

Lauren Boebert’s OnlyFans launches just a few years late

2 hours ago

Harmeet Dhillon out from Regime DOJ

5 hours ago

Russell Brand convicted on rape and sexual assault charges in UK

7 hours ago

Trump has “every intention to keep” Hegseth

8 hours ago

“Maybe we could get asylum in Israel”

19 hours ago

Frau Ingraham would cry if her tear ducts weren’t cauterized shut

20 hours ago

NRCC chair Dick Hudson concedes

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump champions ballroom accomplishment

1 day ago

Hegseth firing imminent: CBS

1 day ago

Jaydee posts 604-word jeremiad, admits Iran war doomed GOP

1 day ago

Mike Johnson to return to backbench, Jim Jordan to run for leader

1 day ago

Libs: Owned

1 day ago

Katie Miller didn’t vote

1 day ago

MAGA Evangelical mopes over crushing defeat

1 day ago

MIDTERMAGEDDON 2026: National Zero Special Live Coverage

2 days ago

Netanyahu and minions plan to contest election results

2 days ago

Vote Republican because if THEY killed Charlie Kirk (while Republicans fully controlled DC) then THEY can kill you too

2 days ago

Regime sends criminal target letters to Dems linked to Alaska scam

2 days ago

Guam now a symbol of hope for GOP

2 days ago

MAGA Land not falling for Democratic efforts at outreach

2 days ago

Trump claims he’s ending all aid to Israel

2 days ago

Schmutzler schnooks schmiger’s schmear of approval

2 days ago

Axios tries to find the silver lining

2 days ago

Supreme Court already tosses Trump California ballot case

3 days ago

President of the United States powerless to order the manhunt and arrest of retired teacher running no-budget sham campaign

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Feckless pervert talks about men’s asses some more

3 days ago

Regime takes California ballot case to Supreme Court

3 days ago

Federal judge tosses Reich’s case against Hunterghazi FBI agents

3 days ago

Bill Murray on CNBC for some reason, trolls Kevin Hassett’s grin

3 days ago

El-Sayed campaign raises $2.4 million off Haley Stevens tantrum

3 days ago

Let’s check in on what the wealthiest man in the world is up to

3 days ago

Byron Donalds needs to win election day vote 2-to-1 in Florida

3 days ago

Dems lead GOP in every Senate battleground: Final NYT/Siena polls

4 days ago

Video of moment private jet hits street in Palm Beach

4 days ago

Butthurt Michigan Dem Stevens appears with Mike Rogers

4 days ago

Sullivan claims he’ll accept defeat

4 days ago

“You take bribes!”: Paxton heckler

5 days ago

Syphilitic boomer acknowledges loss in usual bitchy, ignorant way

5 days ago

Husted rents DC apartment owned by top lobbyist

5 days ago

Midwest’s Tuesday weather forecast is… not great

6 days ago

Fox News goes on MSM-like diner safari to find affirmation for GOP

6 days ago

Ilhan Omar’s ex-husband/possible brother publicly identifies as gay

6 days ago

Regime uncancels Iowa and Kansas Trump rallies: CNN

6 days ago

LISTEN LIVE: Angry senior calls into right wing talk radio show

6 days ago

“We have a turnout problem”

6 days ago

Binance hit with $6.3 billion hack

6 days ago

Comer announces investigationy gesture into Dan Sullivan-ghazi

1 week ago

Blacks, Jews “crazy”: President’s closing campaign message

1 week ago

x
x
x
x
x
x