Categories
Uncategorized

Foolish mortals tempt wrath of Zeus by transmuting lead into gold

“In a paper published in Physical Review Journals, the ALICE collaboration reports measurements that quantify the transmutation of lead into gold in CERN’s Large Hadron Collider. Transforming the base metal lead into the precious metal gold was a dream of medieval alchemists. This long-standing quest, known as chrysopoeia, may have been motivated by the observation that dull grey, relatively abundant lead is of a similar density to gold, which has long been coveted for its beautiful colour and rarity. It was only much later that it became clear that lead and gold are distinct chemical elements and that chemical methods are powerless to transmute one into the other.”

“With the dawn of nuclear physics in the 20th century, it was discovered that heavy elements could transform into others, either naturally, by radioactive decay, or in the laboratory, under a bombardment of neutrons or protons. Though gold has been artificially produced in this way before, the ALICE collaboration has now measured the transmutation of lead into gold by a new mechanism involving near-miss collisions between lead nuclei at the LHC,” says a press release from the maniacs at CERN in Switzerland, lording their hubristic defiance of God and nature.

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

“Stop the Steal” dipshit convicted of voter fraud in Wisconsin court

48 minutes ago

“Strait of Trump”

13 hours ago

Tired old failure rambles through terrible speech: Watch live

17 hours ago

Federal judge tosses Regime v Minnesota on in-state tuition

17 hours ago

Jaydee thinks aliens are demons that take the form of aliens

18 hours ago

WINNING: Stocks now more affordable!

19 hours ago

Donald signs order to pay TSA agents

20 hours ago

Sony Playstation 5 gets discounted negative $100

21 hours ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange Bovine convenes only the most loyal farmers

22 hours ago

Dems “drunk at the wheel in protecting taxpayer dollars from systemic fraud” said Minnesota Republican, months before DWI

22 hours ago

Iranians hacked K$H’s boring old personal emails

23 hours ago

Breitbart evidently outraged over TSA agents getting paid

23 hours ago

Miriam Adelson school sued after six year-old molested by older girl

24 hours ago

Consumer sentiment sucks again: University of Michigan survey

1 day ago

WATCH LIVE: Schlappdick’s fan-con, Day 2

1 day ago

Sheila Cherfilus-McCormick seriously facing expulsion

1 day ago

US officials say about a third of Iranian missiles destoyed

1 day ago

Pam Bondi slips in casual lie into larger falsehood to Fox viewers

1 day ago

Missouri MAGA Congressman pulls reelection filing paperwork

1 day ago

🚨 BREAKING: Savannah Guthrie returning to morning show 🚨

1 day ago

Orange Tyrant “just bored and wants to move on” from Iran war

1 day ago

Host of terrible podcast mocks Trump’s Iran strategy

1 day ago

Senate “voice-votes” funding most of DHS

1 day ago

Trump admits he could’ve just ordered TSA agents paid weeks ago

2 days ago

Jessica Tarlov conveniently benched for Trump call-in day

2 days ago

Orange Antichrist to add signature to all US currency

2 days ago

TACO man moves back hard deadline again

2 days ago

Government censors hideous, malformed skin appendage

2 days ago

Former Massachusetts cop shot by ex-coworker acquitted

2 days ago

Judge tosses Ketamine Brain v Twitter Ad Boycotters

2 days ago

CPAC incel fan-con Day 1: Watch Live

2 days ago

Cooper 49 – Whatley 41 in North Carolina: poll

2 days ago

Regime offering $3 million and asylum for info on Haitian gangs

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Decaying corpse holds cabinet meeting

2 days ago

IOC bans trans athletes from female sports

2 days ago

Kamala Harris packs schedule with fundraisers across South

2 days ago

Rising MAGA star all in on tweets boosting GOP midterm prospects

2 days ago

Rural Nevada county GOP chair vows to “fight, fight, fight 100 percent, very much like Trump” against Trump DOJ “witch hunt”

2 days ago

House Intel chair just can’t do a “Sir, thank you” yarn like the old man

2 days ago

MAGA Wisconsin man to face trial on water park jack off incident

2 days ago

Grandpa having a rough morning

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Orange God Emperor addresses his supplicants

3 days ago

Fannie Man tries again on Letitia James criminal referrals

3 days ago

Mortgage rates hits 6.43 percent

3 days ago

Corey Lewandowski evidently declines firing from government

3 days ago

Seven Chinese dognapping victims escape butcher, journey home

3 days ago

White House turns down Ketamine Brain’s offer to pay TSA

3 days ago

Senate GOP still pretending on SAVE Act: Watch live

3 days ago

Regime “settles” with Mike Flynn

3 days ago

Jaydee’s Budapest Blast set for April 7-8th

3 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x