Writing that “the company is determined to avoid any scenario in which it appears to attribute price increases to US tariffs on goods from China, where most Apple devices are assembled,” the Wall Street Journal reports that the big piece of fruit is wary of incurring the wrath of convicted felon President Trump as he threatens other companies for simply daring to inform customers that it isn’t their fault that costs on the shit they want to buy – namely this fall’s iPhone lineup – is going up.

Instead they’re going to try to sell it as being due to new features being added and yeah this is how fucked up and warped everything is right now. In 2022 and 2023 it was “Sorry, inflation, lolz” when, for example, the fucking cost of Target store brand ice cream went up like 80 percent while the actual CPI from early 2021 to early 2024 rose less than 20 percent. Now that the fat bastard coasted back into office falsely promising to undo such increases Apple is trying to do the opposite, blaming itself instead of extrinsic and entirely controllable on the part of the president factors for price hikes.

Seriously. The Journal actually wrote this: “Company executives are wary of blaming increases on tariffs. When a news report in April said Amazon might show the impact of tariffs to its shoppers, the White House called it a hostile act and Amazon quickly said the idea ‘was never approved and is not going to happen.’ These circumstances have led Apple to look at what supply-chain insiders described as the least-bad choice: raising prices on the new iPhones to preserve profit and finding reasons other than tariffs to explain the move. It couldn’t be determined what new features Apple may offer to help justify price increases.” But let’s hear more about Joe Biden’s brain and prostate.