Happy Biden Book Day to all who celebrate and few in the mainstream media seem to be celebrating harder than Politico Playbook, whose circlejerk seems to be so fast and fervid they’re in danger of creating a gravitational singularity with scorching hot takes like “The buzz: It’s hard to think of a book which has shifted the political dial to this extent in recent years – perhaps nothing since Michael Wolff’s ‘Fire and Fury,’ the gossipy portrait of Donald Trump’s first year in power that had DC bookshops staying open past midnight, Harry Potter-style, when it came out in 2018,” and “This book makes it certain voters will be having these conversations in 2028, and perhaps beyond.”

“Those who were around Biden have nowhere to hide. Only a few weeks ago, your author recalls prominent Dems pushing back hard in private conversations about the phrase ‘cover-up’ on the book’s cover. Now? Pure evasion,” the lead section on the “EXPLOSIVE” new book continues and holy shit these people are diseased and beyond hell-bent on killing whatever space exists among Dems for introspection and lesson-learning about being more honest with themselves and voters that this book may present, just eagerly feeding its news cycle into the same old horserace fap-off.

You can almost feel that thirst yourself as Playbook hypes couchfucker JD Vance’s transparently cunty and pernicious “we need to start a conversation” comments from Monday, writing “Listening to Vance, you could already imagine another debate stage – perhaps even another CNN debate stage – in 2028, with the VP accusing his Democratic opponent of colluding in a colossal lie, covering up the infirmity of the most-powerful person on the planet and then endorsing Biden to run again. It will be a powerful message – and that Democratic opponent is going to need far better answers than anything we’ve heard so far. Will anyone have the courage to take this head-on?”

Interesting question about whether anyone has the courage to take something head-on. We already know that Playbook does not have the courage “to have a conversation” with themselves about getting dogwalked into eagerly sniffing a piss-covered fire hydrant now, but will they in 2028 realize how fucking simpy and detestable they looked in this moment and in so many others over the past few years? They’re going going to need far better answers than anything we’ve heard.