An FBI “External Collection Priorities Message” produced by the bureau’s Seattle field office dated September 4, 2019 and obtained this week after an FOIA request from UFO-centric government secrets investigative reporter John Greenwald’s Black Vault reveals that, after heavy redactions likely detailing efforts to surveil potentially violent extremist incels, federal law enforcement agents deemed it necessary to include “Cock Carousel” in a glossary of the indescribably toxic online community of sexless males’ common shibboleths, and defining it as “Belief by Incels on what females do before they settle down.” Greenwald sort of buried that lede by headlining his story with a prosaic “FBI Monitored ‘Incel’ Ideology Nationwide, FOIA Documents Reveal Threat Assessments and Surveillance Priorities,” though it’s otherwise quite excellent and deeply reported piece of work.

“A subset of individuals who subscribe to Involuntary Celibate (Incel) ideology, Involuntary Celibate Violent Extremists (IVEs), have been responsible for at least 27 fatalities in the United States and in Canada since 2014. Violent idolization of past acts of violence, embedded within Incel ideology, may encourage future acts of violence. Unidentified Incel adherents are likely present within Washington State and may remain anonymous presenting Law Enforcement challenges in the identification of potential Incel-related threats. Law enforcement may not recognize Incel ideology during encounters due to a lack of familiarity of Incel terminology and the potential threat posed by IVEs,” says the intro to what little else isn’t redacted in the file on what’s still clearly an ongoing terroristic threat.

Then again obviously things are different at the FBI since 2019, back when the “Deep State” still reigned there, so who the hell knows if they’re still surveilling the very MAGA-friendly demographic or have been ordered to back off and stake out Tesla dealerships night after night after night.

Greenwald’s scoop however raises an even more tantalizing question: Whether spandex-wearing grapple-freak Jim Jordan and his crew of dipshits knew about this during their years of endless tiresome crusades against alleged FBI surveillance of other, more politically marketable targets – like extremist Catholic groups, QAnon freak parents making complete assholes of themselves at school board meetings, and those connected to Stop the Steal insurrectionists. He found out about those from the exact same type of assessments, making it very unlikely this specific one never crossed his desk. So either it did and he decided it’d be too embarrassing to have to sit there in a congressional hearing and pretend to be outraged as witnesses described how the FBI was monitoring shitposters who would use terms like (definitions verbatim from the file’s glossary) “Ricecel: Incel because of Asian descent,” “Wristcel: Incel due to small wrist size,” “Microcel: Incel as a result of having a ‘micropenis,'” as having had their right to free speech so awfully violated by the bureau’s gestapo.

Or this’ll be the first Jordan’s learned of it and he will in fact hold such a hearing painting incels as the innocent, forlorn young sad sacks targeted by the Deep State and the Biden Regime.

Wonder who he’s going to call to represent the “Hikikomori” subcommunity, a “Japanese term defined by the Japanese government as people who have not left their homes or interacted with others for at least six months. Incels made reference to hikikomoris in relation to the Just Be White theory, as Asian females were having sex with white Chads rather than Asian men,” per the FBI.