Thousands in the German city of Cologne were sent fleeing from their homes and offices after our boys overseas dropped a couple of presents for the families of Nazi Wehrmacht’s soldiers.

Seriously. From a translated alert notice by the Cologne city government: “During exploratory work on Monday, June 2, 2025, three unexploded bombs from World War II were discovered in Deutz.”

“These are two American 20-ton bombs and an American 10-ton bomb, each with impact fuses. The Explosive Ordnance Disposal Service of the Düsseldorf District Government is expected to defuse the three unexploded bombs on Wednesday, June 4, 2025. We are sealing off and evacuating the danger zone within a radius of 1,000 meters from 8 am on Wednesday.”

“Around 20,500 residents and a large number of working people are affected by the evacuation. In addition, numerous infrastructure facilities and businesses are affected. These include the Eduardus Hospital, two retirement homes, the Cologne Messe/Deutz train station, stops on KVB lines 1, 7, and 9, numerous large companies such as the trade fair center, RTL, HDI Insurance, LVR, the LANXESS arena, the Musical Dome, the Philharmonic Hall, many museums, large parts of city administration on both sides of the Rhine, 58 hotels, numerous restaurants, nine schools, and many daycare centers.”

“The evacuation is the largest operation since the end of World War II. Everyone involved hopes that the defusing can be completed by Wednesday. This will only be possible if all those affected leave their homes or workplaces early and stay outside the evacuation area from the outset. We ask you to cooperate and follow our instructions so that the evacuation and defusing can proceed quickly and safely,” the Jerries said as they cowered at the wrath of Uncle Sam’s war machine.