A most unseemly and preposterous incident unfolded for one Sultan Alnofaie, a reputable young bachelor of 21, in the early hours of Sunday last in Clearwater, Florida, WFLA tele-news reports.

The row began when Mr Alnofaie inquired about the coital services of an entertainer at the the OZ Gentlemen’s Club and was presented with a bill for $300 for the services to be rendered to his phallus, upon which he promptly effected payment, only to be refused said service despite honest payment. The bachelor, expecting prompt service within the ordinarily impeccable confines of the gentlemen’s club, then found himself compelled to voice his considerable displeasure regarding the perfidy of the cyprian scented with Exclamation By Coty. The club’s doorkeep, said to be a man of great violence and temper, intervened and told Mr Alnofaie to exit the premises post haste.

Seething from the affront, Mr Alnofaie then telephoned the local constabulary, seeking their intervention and immediate recompense for the deprivation his leisure at the gentlemen’s club.

Upon the constable’s arrival at the establishment they were met with the furious patron who then explained with great vehemence the compounded insult of the unprofessional behaviour of the attendants at the club. Mr Alnofaie was then placed into the constablary’s custody and charged with the crime of misuse of emergency services. It is unclear whether he was reimbursed for the $300.