World Anti-Doping Agency president Witold Banka told the AP on Wednesday that he’s going to be asking American officials to put a stop to the Enhanced Games, an upcoming international multi-sport competition featuring athletes who have been juiced up to their eyeballs on God knows what.

Yeah, some sentences written on this site are purposely laden with extra absurdity in order to add texture to sometimes dry subjects about policy and governance. That sentence – though colored with some colloquialisms not standard in print media – was not one of them. It is simply a brief summary of the content at the top of the source article on very much real plans for an event.

“We will urge the US authorities to find legal ways to block this initiative,” Banka said of the Las Vegas-hosted event set for May 2026 and whose organizers – again, not making this up – promise to pay out “$1 million bonuses to beat world-record times by athletes who will be encouraged to use performance-enhancing drugs under medical supervision,” according to an actual AP article.

Holy shit, lol. Maybe slightly less absurd than the whole enterprise is Banka’s nascent crusade against the Enhanced Games, as if the whole point of it is to not only operate outside of his jurisdiction but actually be very much upfront about celebrating that. If these are all legal substances and there’s no medical professional proscription on administering them to the competitors then it’s kind of hard to see how he’s going to sell the Trump Administration (like they’re going to give a shit) and/or the state of Nevada on stopping it. Either lobby Congress to pass a law shutting this sort of shit down or just passively root for them to fail and it to turn into a Fyre Festival.

All that being said, you can’t exactly blame Banka for being worried either. Seriously just imagine the ratings the fucking “Enhanced Games” are going to get on whatever shitty basic cable network airs them. It could, at least theoretically, pose a challenge to the real Olympics in the long run.