As with everything about Michael Wolff’s reporting on the Trump White House, it feels true but it just may not actually be true: This time he tells the Daily Beast that convicted felon President Trump was less than pleased with the way his big birthday parade went on Saturday, specifically that he wanted a “menacing” display of America’s military might but got a “festive” celebration instead, leading the fat fuck to rip into white nationalist alcoholic Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth.

“He’s pissed off at the soldiers. He’s accusing them of hamming it up, and by that, he seems to mean that they were having a good time, that they were waving, that they were enjoying themselves and showing a convivial face rather than a military face,” said Wolff and again, it feels true.

“He kind of reamed out Hegseth for this. Apparently, there was a phone call, and he said to Hegseth, the tone was all wrong. Why was the tone wrong? Who staged this? There was the tone problem. Trump, he keeps repeating himself. It didn’t send the message that he apparently wanted, which is that he was the commander in chief of this menacing enterprise,” Wolff continued and, it’s unclear if this has been corroborated by reporting from people like Maggie Haberman, Josh Dawsey, Andrew Feinberg, etc but it does line up with the loose, casual way that the soldiers marched past the Orange God Emperor’s viewing stand. Asked to comment on Wolff’s reporting, large-headed White House comms director Steven Cheung was characteristically belligerent, calling Wolff a “lying sack of shit” who “routinely fabricates stories originating from his sick and warped imagination, only possible because he has a severe debilitating case of TDS that has rotted his peanut-sized brain.”

Cheung has gotten just as angry and defensive about things that were independently verifiable.