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Russian economic minister warns country on brink of recession

Speaking at the St Petersburg International Economic Forum on Thursday, Russian Economy Minister Maxim Reshetnikov warned the crowd that “the numbers indicate cooling, but all our numbers are (like) a rearview mirror. Judging by the way businesses currently feel and the indicators, we are already, it seems to me, on the brink of going into a recession,” the Associated Press reports.

Sounds like Reshetnikov is about to be on the brink of a windowsill of a Moscow high-rise! Ba-dum tiss! Seriously folks, it was probably good news because a recession might just be a big upgrade from whatever you call Russia’s economy now! Ba-dum tiss! It’s alright there. Was just talking to a Russian friend on Facetime and I says “Ivan, congrats on the new Yugo you bought for the missus but it looks like the dealer charged you an arm and a leg for that thing!” and he goes “Nyet nyet. Arm amputated because infection of dirty krokodil needle and leg exploded from Ukrainian landmine. Car very sensible purchase.” Ba-dum tiss! Any Russians in the audience here…? Russians are great…

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