Convicted felon President Trump in 2003 wrote a birthday note to his actual pal Jeffrey Epstein that, in the words of the Wall Street Journal contains “several lines of typewritten text framed by the outline of a naked woman, which appears to be hand-drawn with a heavy marker. A pair of small arcs denotes the woman’s breasts, and the future president’s signature is a squiggly ‘Donald’ below her waist, mimicking pubic hair” and concludes: “Happy Birthday – and may every day be another wonderful secret,” which of course the fat bastard denies ever having written or drawn.
“This is not me. This is a fake thing. It’s a fake Wall Street Journal story,” Trump told them. “I never wrote a picture in my life. I don’t draw pictures of women. It’s not my language. It’s not my words. I’m gonna sue The Wall Street Journal just like I sued everyone else,” if they printed the article, sourced from a leather-bound collection of notes for the dead pimp’s 50th birthday by his then-girlfriend and co-conspirator Ghislaine Maxwell. Others who submitted letter for the album include billionaire Victoria’s Secret founder Leslie Wexner and Trump-allied attorney Alan Dershowitz.
And this shit is just weird. From the Journal:
It isn’t clear how the letter with Trump’s signature was prepared. Inside the outline of the naked woman was a typewritten note styled as an imaginary conversation between Trump and Epstein, written in the third person.
“Voice Over: There must be more to life than having everything,” the note began.
Donald: Yes, there is, but I won’t tell you what it is.
Jeffrey: Nor will I, since I also know what it is.
Donald: We have certain things in common, Jeffrey.
Jeffrey: Yes, we do, come to think of it.
Donald: Enigmas never age, have you noticed that?
Jeffrey: As a matter of fact, it was clear to me the last time I saw you.
Trump: A pal is a wonderful thing. Happy Birthday — and may every day be another wonderful secret.
The Orange God Emperor freaked the fuck out over this story before it was posted and, per Status.news, the fat bastard personally called the Journal’s editor in chief to get her to kill it.