…and yeah, it worked out for 32 year-old Miami Beach man Justin Benore. There was indeed exculpatory evidence on the phone Benore submitted because, per police, “he had conversations and screenshots related to the incident that would prove his innocence” and indeed was cleared on domestic assault for injuring his girlfriend by shoving her to the ground in a late June altercation.

Yup. No domestic assault rap. Benore’s phone contained evidence he was innocent of that crime.

Sometimes there’s only so much something like this can be built up before the payoff you all already know is coming. It doesn’t take a whole lot of perspicacity to notice certain key words, the most glaring of which being the first two in the headline. You’re clued in that this one’s a marquee hit in the vast legend of the Sunshine State’s bloody, mortifying, and inexhaustibly depraved history.

Anyway this particular Floridian had child porn – which will not be described in any detail here but can be found in Local10.com’s understated reporting on the arrest – on the phone that he voluntarily handed to police to exonerate himself on a domestic violence charge. And beastiality porn.

Had to at least mention that last part as Benore was hit with 25 charges related to the possession of child sexual abuse material and one count of possession of images involving sexual conduct with animals. A domestic assault charge would’ve been, what, maybe five years? Whatever it would’ve been has to be considerably less time than fucking 25 child porn counts – plus the animal one – and life on the sex offender registry – if he ever even gets out – in a Florida prison. Holy shit.

jail isn't so bad#ALLtheBUTTSEXiwant

— Justin Benore (@jbenore4444) June 30, 2012

Came across while that little gem while trying to find some hints as to whether Benore is MAGA. No reference to his politics, if any, could be ascertained and he’s not a registered voter. Oh well.