Categories
Uncategorized

Ride of the MAGA Valkyries: A very NSFW internecine shitpost war

To begin this long story in which one female MAGA influencer accused another of getting fingered in a hotel lobby at a Turning Point USA event (Hey, it says “NSFW” in the headline) requires going back a few months to the beginning in this episode of Jubilee, the super-ultra-mega-viral-buzz-machine YouTube debate show in which 20 nobodies in a circle take on a single media personality from an opposite side, for a few minutes each, one of their top-five most-viewed of all time:

Filmed in January and published in March, longtime liberal commentator Sam Seder vs 20 young Trump fans is kind of depressing to watch. These people are REALLY fucking stupid. At one point Seder, looking like he wanted kill himself, had to explain to a MAGA Zoomer that federal government agencies don’t actually pay taxes to the IRS like they’re privately-owned entities. The embed above however is fast-forwarded to when Sarah Stock sat down told Seder that European and Christian values are America’s dominant culture and other hateful, incomprehensibly delivered bullshit.

And what’s a moment like this if you can’t capitalize upon it and start a “career” as a right wing “influencer”? She “owned” that leftist Jew right to his face so it would be a sin not to start tweeting.

[All the credit in the world to The Bulwark’s Will Sommer for laying out this shitshow.]

Not the tweet that started the war so much as an idea of who Sarah Stock is. In the interest of establishing the rest of the dramatis personae in this nightmare asylum, they are as follows:

Pearl Davis: A MAGA female dating coach whose brand is preaching hope for men feeling “discarded, disrespected, or drained by a system that was never built for them to win,” in the form of a $980 training course on “the four areas where weakness gets punished – and mastery gets rewarded with respect, power, and peace,” those four areas being you already know enough, lol.

Emily Wilson aka Emily Saves America: An at least semi-regular Fox News guest whose greatest hits include she’d be okay with individual states reinstating slavery if “everyone in a state wants something.” Despite being MAGA, Wilson is highly critical of the “trad wife” movement.

Ian Smith: The anti-COVID lockdown gym owner from New Jersey who failed to turn his repeated arrests into a career in elected politics, most famous for a 2022 tweet in which he mocked would-be opponent then-Congressman Andy Kim for staying late and helping to clean up the Capitol after the January 6, 2021 MAGA insurrection. Smith didn’t even get to face Kim as he lost that primary by 25 percent. Smith is also a serial drunk driver and once killed a teenager while intoxicated.

Morgan Ariel: Former Charlie Kirk/TurningPoint USA “Ambassador”. Former because she called for the US to “make homosexuality illegal again,” Ben Shapiro an “Israel 1st Jesus hating big pharma shill,” equated Jews with pedophiles, mourned the death of Hamas leader Ismail Haniyeh, called Israel “a satanic country filled with the seed of satan.” Oh and now she hates Trump.

Elijah Schaffer: Former Glenn Beck acolyte/Blaze Media host/January 6 misdemeanant. Former because he was fired in 2022 for drunkenly groping colleague Sara Gonzalez’s breasts at the premiere of his documentary Uncle Tom II and was, like every other insurrectionist, pardoned by the Orange God Emperor this year. Now head of his own propaganda operation.

Christian Walker: Needs very little introduction given his past National Zero fame as the sole legitimate child and an apple from the tree of failed 2022 Georgia Senate nominee Herschel.

Got all that? Great. Sarah just got engaged. Elijah was happy for her…

Pearl and Emily were not…

“WTF, Spartan? Who cares?” Shaddap and pay attention to this brief sidetrack…

…and its ending…

The DUI thing is true, the infidelity is probably true… which means the dildo thing is… Anyway, back to the main plot this tweet could not be embedded because the global powerhouse of free speech decided it was too “toxic” or whatever from the pre-Ketamine era…

Now maybe it’s not so much that this was “toxic” as it doesn’t seem any less toxic than Pearl’s reply:

Let’s just skip the screenshot for Morgan’s reply, also throttled due to extreme toxicity: “You suck black dick and probably have aids.” Which Pearl then promptly denied half of:

There’s a quick cameo by Grok:

Then things got considerably further away from the rails that they were already off of:

Remember when Anakin Skywalker cut off both of Count Dooku’s hands, grabbed his lightsaber, and then was holding both swords like scissors to his neck? What happened next was kind of like this:

“You have been completely ran through by both single and married men in the Right-Wing. You call young virgins losers and encourage them to have premarital sex and you’re pro-abortion. You’re a disgusting feminist whore with a Jezebel spirit who uses filters in all of her videos and lives in rebellion to God while grifting off of the conservative movement and simultaneously trashes women who desire to live God honoring lifestyles because their engagement rings didn’t cost enough or their lifestyle isn’t flashy enough. But yea, I’m the one who needs money, you gold digging hoe. So yes, I am better than you,” continued Morgan in her, um, quite detailed rebuttal to Emily.

Even though it’s the fingering accusation that got top billing in the coverage of this savagery you can almost see it from an angle of “Well they’re all 20 or 30 somethings gathering from out of town for these Charlie Kirk circlejerks so of course there’s going to be a lot of fucking around” and inevitable mudslinging over that. The kind of shit that Kirk is going to pretend isn’t happening but also won’t fire anyone over unless there’s a really egregious incident. The part rings as even more authentically on-brand here is the “sex with married MAGA dads” part, that a 31 year-old psychopath influencer went to these “conservative youth” events and ended up with the non-youths who told their wives they were going to a MAGA party where everyone behaves.

THAT is the lifestyle these freaks enjoy in the image of their god.

“But Spartan, what about Christian Walker? And what else is Elijah Schaffer’s role here besides commenting positively on an image of a finger being ensconced in a foreign object?”

In the Bulwark’s video Will Sommer identifies the above now-deleted tweet of Christian non-identifying Emily as being on the receiving end of Schaffer’s digital affections at the 2021 event.

And at some point in the middle of last week’s nightmare Emily wrote a reply to Schaffer or some other dude named Evan Kilgore that had tagged Schaffer. It’s not clear because it’s been deleted:

So yeah, Sarah Stock just got engaged!

Created by potrace 1.16, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2019

Voters trust Dems over GOP 53 to 47 on affordability: NBC poll

2 hours ago

Brown University shooter in custody

7 hours ago

Nine dead in shooting during Aussie Hanukkah celebration

8 hours ago

Movie Night Saturday: Bullitt

16 hours ago

Orange Fuhrer mourns troops killed in non-peaceful Middle East

24 hours ago

Team Orange tells donors they’re counting on Supreme Court for midterms help and other grim GOP tales Axios printed week

1 day ago

Thailand and Cambodia didn’t get Trump’s ceasefire memo

1 day ago

Donald not over rejection in Indiana

1 day ago

Regime probably regretting letting Bruna Ferreira out of the gulag

2 days ago

Truth Social alerts users to Obama Admin counsel’s Epstein ties

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Jeff’s friend may or may not actually talk to media

2 days ago

“Asian Wife Went With Her Dad’s Friend: A Cuckold Story,” and other interests of Pete Hegseth’s top advisor/mentor Eric Geressy

2 days ago

Oregon cop justified in shooting man holding up loose pants

2 days ago

RNC screaming “CONTEXT” over chairman Gruters’ grim outlook

2 days ago

Canuck biologists find orca and dolphin cooperation very common

2 days ago

Generous Florida patriot donates live hand grenade to Goodwill

2 days ago

Garcia hints that the worst is yet to come

2 days ago

Notice how some faces are not blacked out of Trump-Epstein pics

2 days ago

MAGA Land not as caught up on the news as they think

2 days ago

New York Post reports lawyer got what was coming

2 days ago

Judge blocks ICE from detaining Kilmar Abrego Garcia again

2 days ago

Tim Pool refuses to give cops video of supposed drive-by shooting

2 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Republicans praise their Orange Tormentor

3 days ago

Orange Idiot “pardons” Tina Peters

3 days ago

Kilmar Abrego Garcia released from gulag

3 days ago

Indiana state Senate rejects Trump gerrymander

3 days ago

Virginia grand jury no bills Letitia James indictment again

3 days ago

Jaydee demands unquestioning obedience from Indiana GOP

3 days ago

“When will I get credit for having created, with No Inflation, perhaps the Greatest Economy in the History of our Country?”: Orange Baby

3 days ago

Tennessee inmate executed just two weeks before Christmas

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Karoline’s Khristmas Special

3 days ago

Noem cuts and runs from hearing

3 days ago

Dems demand DOJ IG “audit” all Epstein files to check for fuckery

3 days ago

Thune reaffirms commitment to GOP’s “blame Democrats” strategy

3 days ago

Eurocrats face visa revocation for crackdown on Musk Twitter

3 days ago

“Fake polls” just the wrong kind of fake for Orange Grandpa

3 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Dog murdering idiot testifies at House hearing

3 days ago

Trump job approval rating sinks to 36 percent: AP-NORC poll

3 days ago

Florida sues Starbucks for discriminating against guess which race

3 days ago

Doug Burgum says electricity prices are high in states without AI data centers, therefore data centers aren’t increasing costs

3 days ago

Regime preemptively threatening ICC if they don’t immunize Trump

3 days ago

Man started fires 350,000 years earlier than known: researchers

4 days ago

Jesse Watters already giving up on Republicans holding House

4 days ago

Philadelphia youth football players caught trying to shaft Dick’s

4 days ago

Blakeman ignored Trump’s command not to run for governor

4 days ago

WATCH LIVE: Trump hosts billionaire circlejerk at White House

4 days ago

Former “Real Housewives” star released from Club Fed

4 days ago

“France and Israel killed Charlie Kirk” evidently a bridge too far for the “Venezuela and China stole the 2020 election” crowd

4 days ago

First and Second Amendment under assault by fascist deep state

4 days ago

Jim Jordan forces House GOP to wrestle with reality on ACA

4 days ago

x
x
x
x
x
x