Since people who are not aware that there’s a Category 3 hurricane currently churning out in the Atlantic might also observe 15 ft high swells crashing into beaches and think “Well that looks a little rougher than usual but whatever, it’s hot” officials in the southern New Jersey city of Wildwood on Monday declared a total swimming ban in effect through the rest of the week, WNBC reports.
“Through the remainder of this week, the Wildwood Beach Patrol advises that beachgoers do not enter the water for the safety of themselves and first responders,” said Wildwood Beach Patrol Captain Ed Schneider. It’s not clear whether Schneider is more of a Baywatch or Pacific Blue guy when it comes to classic basic cable beach procedurals – guess that really depends on whether he’s a lifeguard or a boardwalk bike patrol officer – but either way he’s obviously beyond sick and tired of these dumbass inlanders thinking they don’t need to respect the ocean on a good day.