Soyboys, MAGA slang for sensitive little socialist wieners who cannot stand President Trump’s America First policies, are running to the leftist rag the New York Times to cry for help.
Josh and Jordan Gackle, two soyboys from North Dakota, complain that President Trump’s trade war – which is all about putting American workers first and fentanyl dealers last by cutting off their supply – is hurting them because they can’t get any dirty money from the Chinese communists anymore. “The stress level is much higher now than it was then,” said Jordan as he stood in front of his soy field. “If we keep this going for very long, then we are going to see the kind of foreclosures that were happening. All of it is unnecessary. The US was not forced into this by anybody.”
Other soyboy Justin Sherlock, who was complaining about Trump to woke NPR six months ago, still needs his cry closet. “I feel like we’re out of time. If we don’t get a deal in the next few weeks, I think this turns what is hopefully a one-year problem into a multiyear problem,” Sherlock said, whining that he and his fellow soyboys will lose big this year without Chinese money – or socialist handouts from the government – will screw them going forward. “Are we going to lose a generation of farmers because of the trade war? I think that’s what we’re fast approaching.” Fuck you feelings soyboy.