“A heartfelt thank you to all the volunteers and donors who have made our reelection campaign so strong. The support is wide and deep and much appreciated by my campaign team who are doing an outstanding job. My campaign is in a strong position thanks to the efforts of so many. And remember 2020, we have to keep our guard up when it comes to Democrats who are obsessed with beating me. Bring it on,” says dainty Senator Lindsey Graham in an announcement for the “Third Trump Graham Golf Classic fundraiser in November to benefit Senator Lindsey Graham’s 2026 reelection, President Donald J Trump, and the Republican National Committee (RNC).”

“President Trump’s support for my reelection has been tremendously helpful, and I am truly honored to have his endorsement. When you think it can’t get any better with President Trump supporting my campaign, it just did. I am pleased to announce that in November, President Trump and I are hosting a golf tournament in Florida to benefit my campaign and his causes. I am thrilled that he would do this, and it is going to be a big, big event. It will not only help me tremendously, but it will help others who support President Trump,” Lindsey continued, painting a lot of easily-connected dots.

The reason why it’s the “Trump-Graham Golf Classic” and not the “Graham-Trump Golf Classic” is plain enough because of course the Orange God Emperor has to get top billing no matter what, as is why it’s a golf tournament – which will be rigged for Donald – rather than a campy drag-centric variety show. Less clear however is why it says “President Donald J Trump” and “his causes” as benefitting – and that the tournament will be held at an unspecified course in Florida – as though we were all born yesterday. Like just say it’ll be at a Trump-owned golf course for Christ’s sake. You already freaking said he’s going to be making money off of this, it’s no goddamned mystery.