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Orange God Emperor demands $230 million from DOJ

Convicted felon President Trump has demanded the Justice Department, and thus the American taxpayers, hand him $230 million personally as recompense for the two federal criminal investigations into him for crimes that he actually committed, the New York Times reports.

“The situation has no parallel in American history, as Mr Trump, a presidential candidate, was pursued by federal law enforcement and eventually won the election, taking over the very government that must now review his claims. It is also the starkest example yet of potential ethical conflicts created by installing the president’s former lawyers atop the Justice Department,” the Times writes, trying their best to just call it what it is but still failing due to outmoded media mores.

So they outsource it to experts. “What a travesty. The ethical conflict is just so basic and fundamental, you don’t need a law professor to explain it,” said Bennett L Gershman, a legal ethics professor at Pace University School of Law, adding “And then to have people in the Justice Department decide whether his claim should be successful or not, and these are the people who serve him deciding whether he wins or loses. It’s bizarre and almost too outlandish to believe.”

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